4 Ways to Get Him to Love Your Sex Toy

Do you have to hide your sex toys from your partner? Sneak a solo session in with your vibrating friends after he's fallen asleep? Shame on you! Guys love toys too, so let him play! But maybe he's uncomfortable with that 12 inch dildo hiding in the corner of your closet. Men can be incredibly insecure when it comes to competing phalluses. All you have to do is remind him that they're just toys, and he loves toys. Lynn Olejniczak is here to help you with developing a relationship between your toys and your man.

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Most of us have one, or maybe two. Generally they are tucked away in a drawer, or the closet, usually in the original packaging. When we use it, it is often when we are alone, or discretely after the night is over and he has fallen asleep. It does its job; we clean it, and then put it away again. Our husbands know we have it, they just don’t ask. What they don’t see, they don’t have to confront.

What's wrong with a sex toy, anyway?

What is the issue with a vibrator? Some husbands don’t have an issue. They eagerly join in the fun by watching or using it on their wife. There is an open dialogue about toys and may even enjoy purchasing them for her use, or even their own. While this is terrific, it doesn’t always happen. Or it doesn’t happen without a conversation – sometimes an uncomfortable one.

See, for all their bravado men can be pretty insecure. This is where "the wall" comes up regarding toys. Let’s face it, toys don’t get tired. Toys can vibrate faster, are more direct than a human finger, and have more force than the tongue. They don’t change the rhythm because of a cramp, nor do they interrupt the moment to ask you if it feels good. All-in-all, toys are pretty freakin’ awesome. They would be even more awesome if your hubby was involved.

So, how do you approach the subject without running right into that wall? Answer: Gently.

#1 Assure him

Your husband knows the benefit of mechanics, he’s a guy! But the last thing he wants is to be replaced by a machine. He won’t admit it but that's what he's thinking when he hears the word “vibrator”.  What you need to say to him is, “Honey, my Nea is terrific but it would be even better if you would use it on me. Please?” And while he may look like a deer in headlights, that is the moment you show him what it is and better yet, show him how it works.

#2 Start small

Getting your husband into using toys on you may be easier if you start out slow, and small. Bullets, mini massagers, finger tinglers – all are small and powerful. There is nothing intimidating about them and you can buy them in pink for Pete’s sake. Once he sees this tiny device, he may feel more comfortable with the whole idea. Show them how to turn it on, adjust speeds and vibrations. The guy in him will kick in and want to figure out how it works, and how it works best. Show him where to position it, if you even have to. Chances are he will want to see for himself. If he is moving about too much or changing speeds too often, gently show him where it feels best. Move his hand, or tilt your hips to help him out, just as you did the first time he went down on you. He'll get it.

#3 Move up when you're both ready

If you happen to have something larger and more complex like a studded, flexible dildo or a Triple Rabbit, you may want to hold off on showing him those if you think he may be uncomfortable. Get him used to the idea of something inside of you besides him by purchasing a dildo, and using it in conjunction with a small vibrator. Buy something made of glass or acrylic so it doesn’t appear too real or intimidating. You can even get a dildo with a removable vibrator for when you want to take him to the next level.

Just as you would want to be treated with respect and understanding if he wanted to do something new in the bedroom that you might not be comfortable with, go into this conversation with the same loving respect for his feelings. Many men are creatures of habit. They'll wonder if they are “enough” if you enjoy using toys to compliment your sexual session.

#4 Engage him

Let your partner know it is them you are in love with, not your Rabbit. Try not to play the, you-masturbate-too-card because he will say he doesn’t use an artificial vagina and then the conversation will just go downhill. Rather, if more explanation is necessary compare it to another position for you two to enjoy. Let him know it turns you on when he watches you enjoy yourself. It is probably turning him on too, he just has to get used to it.

But once he does; congratulations! You will be able to throw away the box it came in, and use that cute little satin bag. Finally!

Lynn Olejniczak is a native Chicagoan who loves her city and everything it has to offer. She spent 10 years as a NASDAQ trader in  Chicago and New York in the 90's, then went back to college when "the rules changed and I realized no one was going to pay me lots of money to swear at them anymore."

She loves good food, and a perfectly poured Guinness at any Irish pub in the city. Her Beastie Boys CDs rest comfortably next to her Misfits vinyl, and she believes Underground Garage is the best radio program known to humankind. Armed with degrees in History, and a love of Urban Planning, Lynn is currently writing and researching a book on the 80's Chicago bar scene. Get in touch with Lynn at editorial@getlusty.com.

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10 Relationship Myths We Must "Whack Off"

Masturbation is a healthy and natural act of self-love. Stressed out? Masturbate! Feeling horny? Masturbate! We recommend both she and he masturbate. Since masturbation seems to be such a great way to release and improve on oneself, we thought it would be interesting to take the idea of masturbation to relationships. Jacsman, our favorite resident writer on long-term gay relationships, is here with advice on how to masturbate or "whack off" 10 relationship myths that keep us from growing closer and becoming more intimate with one another.

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Masturbation as metaphor

Masturbation’s impulsive pleasure is one of the most significant joys that we bring with us into our relationships. As we took our pleasure into our own hands before — “polishing-the-pearl” during tea break, or “whacking-it-off” while waiting for the midday news report to commence — within coupledom, we have this agency in our partnership satisfaction. When that opportunity comes up during the day, we are intentional: we whack-it-off and then proceed with the rest of our occupations. What better sense of achievement (in under fifteen minutes) is there?

Masturbation is essential to sustaining the hearty sexual satisfaction we need in ourselves to experience satisfaction in our lovers. So I have paramount agency in my psychosexual satisfaction, being dependent on your lover for such satisfaction is problematic. It is potentially unhealthy for your relationship, since creating and making demands of your lover on a daily basis will empty them out in no time at all.

Prioritize your love 

Only if partners have their personal psychosexual satisfactions firmly in hand can the prime achievement of coupledom intimacy contribute to lovers’ experience of commitment. There are of course gradations of intimacy, and these are comparatively opaque in gay relationships, perhaps not from within our partnerships, but particularly from the outside looking in.

Though we do not need to follow heterosexual touchstones, to the larger part of the LGBTQ community the intimacy markers of engagement, marriage, and parenthood that characterise the bond between heterosexual couples are out of reach. Lacking such socio-culturally recognized status can be a source of dubiety in a gay partnership, becoming problematic when it interferes with the expression of feelings in the relationship.

The commitment that continued sexual and emotional involvement might imply can remain ambiguous indefinitely. Instead of just whacking-it-off, sitting down and doing it, talking honestly and transparently about our options/expectations and identifying/prioritizing our intimacy goals, we put this important communication off and continue getting by on assumption. In particular, gay men can be scared off by the intensity of prioritizing intimacy in this way. I suspect it is because we are, at first, virgins to the deeply gratifying pleasure resulting from taking hold of the opportunity to communicate quite so honestly and just whacking-it-off, getting it done, and then persisting in doing it. Committing to it until it is habit.

Hopefully, it's clear by this point why I am riding this masturbation metaphor. Masturbation in my committed sexual relationship serves to ensure my pleasure, distance, and time apart from my lover to see to my agency in my personal psychosexual satisfaction. Prioritizing and habituating honesty, transparency, and the celebration of our authentic love for each other serves to ensure our deepest pleasure, our sincerest intimacy, and most precious anniversaries together. You’ll come to cherish this pleasure too and in any moment during your day!

Relationship myths

What gives me great pleasure to tell you is that by whacking-off your intimacy and partnership priority, you'll come to understand the truth of your commitment and the true pleasure of your relationship, sexual and otherwise. Just as most couples, we buy into at least one of the common, and dare I say heterosexual socio-cultural myths, that mislead us in our most important interpersonal relationship. After all, LGBTQ souls, in wonderment, integrated the same fairy tales all people share in collective consciousness: Prince Charming, the Sleeping Beauty, Brave Huntsman, the Wicked Stepmother, and need I even mention Happily Ever After?

In "The Heart of Love," John F. Demartini notes that American President John F. Kennedy once pointed out, “The great enemy of truth is very often not the lie — deliberate, contrived, and dishonest — but the myth — persistent, persuasive, and unrealistic”. Most valid here, his surety for realistic living is to stop enjoying “the comfort of opinion without the discomfort of thought."

Going beyond fantasy to find true relationship fulfillment makes it necessary for us to prioritize our love’s truth and transparency; once a couple is in the habit of eliminating this, the joy of emancipation from false relationship myths climaxes in most intense relationship intimacy, sexually or otherwise.

The 10 relationship myths to "whack-off"

Rubbing out the following ten myths can, in some cases very ironically, be the most poignant bonding experiences for gay couples:

#1 My relationship makes me happy

Nope, you make you happy.

#2 My soulmate completes me

You are a complete human being in and of yourself.

#3 A “real” relationship will last forever 

All relationships are real and all relationships last as long as it is real for the lovers.

#4 Once we overcome choppy waters it will be smooth sailing 

Afraid not; storms come and go.

#5 A good relationship requires sacrifice 

Think again. Fulfilling coupledom requires communication and understanding, not martyrdom.

#6 Great sex happens only at the beginning of a relationship

Ecstatic sex can be honed from mutual understanding, trust, and intimacy, all grown over time.

#7 In the right relationship, I won’t have to work at it 

Commitment requires continued practice.

#8 In a relationship, I’ll never feel lonely 

Your feelings are involuntary, your lover cannot rescind them.

#9 Children can validate our commitment 

Your commitment is not your child’s/children’s responsibility.

#10 Opposites attract

You are not a couple of fridge magnets.

When to "Whack-it-off"

Once rid of the delusions, it becomes a matter of rhythm how you whack-it-off. It is your dialogical business as lovers to nurture mutual understanding, trust, and intimacy with each other. The 21st century lifestyle doesn’t allow for too many of these engagements, and while there is no magic number appropriate for every relationship, I consider one or two times per month as the bare-assed minimum to sustain relationship development. Calendaring might sound too businesslike, but calendaring is proactive prioritization of both your lover and your relationship. Setting a date with your partner assures a night of potency on the docket, more often than not in both cases: emotional and orgasmic. Everything leading up to the date is effectively edging, until, together, you whack-it-off.

Even the most time strapped, communicatively challenged partners should never miss mandatory (birthday, anniversary, etc.) opportunities to prioritize their love and consideration for each other, when any excuse less than anaphylactic shock won't exempt a partner from duty to commitment and love. Also, create your practicable fairy tale by inventing your own "touchstone" moments.

In a future GetLusty post, I will arouse your imagination on how to recognize and lovingly carve out such mandatory opportunities to whittle on your intimacy communication. The best place to start however, is to get lusty for it and just whack-it-off. Just do it. Get Lusty endeavours to get couples there, whether straight or gay.

Develop and understand your relationship better; again, whether a gay or straight couple, turn the lust up for one another and subscribe to GetLusty. GetLusty guides us towards intimate understanding of our love for each other as we all aspire to nurture the kind of commitment that can sustain our souls. I’ll do near anything to help you get your lust on for your lover, and share the joy and learning from it with the lovers of the world.

Do It well, do It safe.
Jacsman


He studies and writes about men and masculinity in MSM relationships, and gay couples getting lusty is JacoPhillip’s cup of tea. Our resident advisor on gay long-term relationships, JacoPhillip Crous is also known as Jacsman. A sex life educator, Jacsman consults in-person, on Skype, and by telephonic private sessions with couples and solo clients on ecstatic and intimate psycho-sexual lifestyle and development.

Jacsman promotes male2male dialogue that furthers understanding of masculine sexuality and MSM relationships. A research psychologist, he explores and investigates male psycho-sexual self-development phenomena, behaviours, experiences and knowledgeability. Find out more about JacoPhillip at: http://about.me/Jacsman.

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Why Male Orgasm is Different From Ejaculation (NSFW)

Orgasm October is over and Naked November has come and past. Now, Dick & Dildo December is in full swing! We posted some time ago about how to have multiple orgasms for men that raised a good question among our readers. Specifically, one reader noted [of the article], "Seems they just redefine what an orgasm is for men, and go on just to talk about control." Actually, no. Ejaculation and orgasm aren't the same. Today, we're talking about how they're different.

Brendan debunks any misconceptions you appreciated readers may have about about male orgasms and ejaculation! With lots of research, we have some answers to your perplexing question. This is just part two in our series of the male orgasm, so stay tuned for more articles to come. GetLusty's Brendan White reports.  

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For many men, orgasms and ejaculation are inextricably combined because ejaculation and orgasms seem to happen at the same time.  While this is the often the case, ejaculation and orgasms don't necessarily have to happen at the same time - and don't with a great deal of men.  Both words refer to two separate events that have some associated causes and effects.  Think of a Venn diagram - there are aspects of each category that are mutual and aspects that are completely separate.   

Fleshing out the difference

Before we can dive headlong into the nitty gritty details of male orgasms and ejaculation, it's critical to define the two terms.  The exact definition of an orgasm is heavily contested.  Some clinical definitions are limited to physiology while others extend into the realms of psychology and neurology.  There are rigid definitions that see an orgasm as predominantly physiological: muscular contractions involved during sexual activity, along with changes in heart rate, blood pressure and other factors.  I've also encountered sources that claim orgasms are completely mental while ejaculation is the physical end of things.  While nicely compartmentalizing the two terms, this claim is false!

Orgasm

I believe the most useful definition of an orgasm is somewhere out there in orgasm no-man's land - as a mental state, as a series of physiological and also neurological events.  During an orgasm, brain waves change and certain hormones are released.  Scientific American reports: "Achieving orgasm, brain imaging studies show, involves more than heightened arousal. 

It requires a release of inhibitions engineered by shutdown of the brain’s center of vigilance in both sexes and a widespread neural power failure in females."  Orgasms are controlled by the autonomic nervous system, which operates below the level of consciousness and is responsible for other things like heart rate, digestion, respiratory rate, sexual arousal, and more.  This system, when stimulated enough, triggers an orgasm, which in turn queues ejaculation.

Ejaculation

The definition of ejaculation, on the other hand, is far less ambiguous.  Ejaculation is the strictly physical process of ejecting semen from the male reproductory tract.  If you're still skeptical consider this: some men ejaculate before orgasms, some after.  Some men may not ejaculate at all when they orgasm.  It is not uncommon for orgasms from prostate stimulation to be dry and ejaculate-less.  There are also retrograde ejaculations which occur when semen is redirected to the urinary bladder.  Retrograde ejaculations can be one symptom of a larger medical problem so if you think you are having retrograde ejaculations, do yourself a favor and talk to your doctor.

Conclusion

So lets go over what we uncovered today!  Orgasms are total body responses while ejaculations are more isolated physical events.  While the two can in some cases be mutually exclusive, typically an ejaculation follows an orgasm.   Don't be confused - they are different from each other!  Don't you let anyone tell you differently, just point them to GetLusty for Couples for some proper sex indoctrination.

This is an article by our newly titled Business Outreach intern, Brendan White. Brendan is a Boston University graduate with a passion for all things historical and also all things sex. A recent Boston transplant to Chicago, Brendan has a musical mind and at one point toured the country. When he's not thinking about conquering feudal Japan, chances are he's playing loud Rock N' Roll somewhere with other like minded individuals. When he is not thinking about GetLusty, he's spending time with his exceptionally lovely girlfriend.

 Want to get in touch with Brendan? E-mail him at Brendan@getlusty.com.

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Gents! 7 Tips for Amazing Masturbation

Male masturbation. It's been around since the beginning of time. Around 61% of men say they masturbate (what are those other 39% doing, seriously?!). So for the majority of men, do you have techniques that work for you? How about doing it better? GetLusty writer Ryan McCarthy reports on his favorite techniques, and several new ones to make your masturbation the best--ever.

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At this point, it doesn't even matter anymore. Men masturbate, end of story. Either way, masturbation feels very nice the majority of the time. There are a few things that can be explored to make it more exciting. There are so many benefits of male masturbation. So how about doing it better? Below are some recommendations I've used to make my masturbation sessions mind blowing.

#1 Use the Right Lube

Lubricant. It's not just for your car! If you're circumsized, you've likely already taken advantage of this lovely sexual aid. If you're uncircumsized, take heed! Since we have already agreed that we like to masturbate frequently, use this as a good excuse to try out new lubes and find the one that feels best for you. There are a few things to take into consideration, such as skin allergies. Water based lubes will eventually evaporate and dry out, but a few drops more along the way will reaccelerate your hands. As the name states, these are easy to wash off, so don't use these in the shower. Silicone based lubes do not contain any water and do last longer because of that fact. In the end, lube is driven by personal preference as there are many manufacturers of each type and all differ slightly. You can also try warming lubes, organic lubes, or even Vaseline (good in the shower).

#2 Switch up the setting

I don't really know how other gents set the scene for the big date with themselves, but I have a general idea. It probably involves sitting in front of a TV or computer, lube close by, Kleenex or towel even closer by and porn (feminist porn?) in the background. What about the memories of particular encounters? Doctor or lesbian fantasies? Do they ever play out in your mind? Surely they must as we are all passionate and can be stimulated by erotic memory from time to time. Try eyes closed, lying on your back in bed and think about something hot you have been a part of or would love to be a part of. What about your partner drives you really crazy? Channel those visuals and ride the wave!

#3 "The Stranger"

An oldie' but a goodie. You may be familiar with the movement, but not the term. Try using your opposite hand and flip it around 180 degrees. It kinda-sorta-just-barely-enough feels as though someone else is stroking for you.

Plus, it is a different sensation simply due to the fact that your hand is hitting different spots on your penis. Give your opposite hand a stripper name and have some fun with it! Just don't forget to occasionally tell your partner about your fantasies.

#4 Scrotum massage

With your free hand, lightly (or more deeply) massage your scrotum. As you begin to become aroused, even a light touch on the scrotum can be highly arousing. Alternatively, and to accompany the massage of your balls, also use fabrics to aid in the massage. What's been coined as the, "fabric effect." If you have any fabrics (think: silk scarves or even restraints) that may come in to play during "actual" sex, use those as an added toy. Let the material play around on your balls, legs and the base of your penis. You will enjoy it.

#5 Film yourself

It doesn't necessarily have to be shared with anyone and you may not even watch it, but, the mere thought of someone somewhere getting off on you getting off is pretty hot. If you were to share or post this video on Xtube or something similar, there is a real possibility of getting some views and fun comments too. I would like to think girls like to watch guys masturbate, though the majority of views may be from men. This is a turn on for some, not so much with others, but is still a new way to introduce another tool for arousal and to achieve a monster climax. Surely you have a webcam?

#6 Take a break for a few days

As good as it feels to release, letting it build up can give intense male orgasms. The only downside? It may be a shorter session from start to finish. But look at the bright side, it can easily be followed by another, and another and then 'real' sex. Make sure you don't go overboard with the self-love that when the real thing comes along your energy and drive are sapped. While there has been much debate on masturbation addictions, there is an upper limit. Always keep something in reserve.

#7 Carefully hold your breath at climax

As you feel that inevitable rush of sensation approaching, when you just can not hold out any longer and the time to come has arrived, take a deep breath. Hold your breath as you hold back the orgasm as long as you can. Release the breath a very few short seconds after you pop and believe me you will thank me in the morning. Be very careful with breath control as it can cause light headedness as well as so called "head rushes." Annie Sprinkle talked extensively on breathing and sex. Use your brain wisely, don't cut off the oxygen completely.

The alternative here is alternate your breathing. In Tantric sex, couples (and individuals) use breathing to achieve oneness and for a variety of other benefits. Not sure about tantric breathing? Check out this breathing technique: Inhale deeply into your abdomen, focusing on a point 2 inches below the navel and as you exhale focus on the crown at the top of your head. You can intensify the exercise by exhaling with a loud guttural sigh.

Another tantric breathing technique: Rhythmic breathing. Here, placing your hand over your navel, inhaling slowly and fully to the count of 4 and exhaling at the same rhythm. It sounds easier than it actually is. What most people will notice is that their breath stops short of their diaphragm. Just relax and don’t force your breath into your abdomen. As you grow more accustomed to breathing in this way, you will begin to open up channels, allowing the energy to reach your lower belly.

#7.5 Find a Partner and Ask for an Extra Hand or Two

A helping hand is a great assistance, indeed.

Men will never stop masturbating. Never, ever. Not when we get married, not when we get old and not even if our arms are amputated. Keep it healthy, keep yourself hygienically clean and always have a tissue near by. The stroke must go on.

Speaking of male orgasm, have you 'Liked' GetLusty on Facebook yet? We're giving away a Tiani 2 to a lucky 'Liker' by December 1st. We're also on Pinterest and Tumblr, as well as Twitter @getlusty. What?! You're on those platforms and aren't in tune with our awesome content? Have amazing sex. Get lusty.

Born in conservative Grand Rapids, Michigan, Ryan grew up and out of his Catholic upbringing in his early teens. Finally having the chance to explore life in a more open way, he began playing in metal bands and lusting after girls. After many years of metal and lust, it was time to relax a bit and focus on some other things. A life long reader, Ryan now is working on his own book dealing with the church, water fluoridation, Love/Fear, sacred geometry, human relationships and freedom from tyranny. Now a business consultant, he spends his spare time working at a local theatre, staying miles away from Facebook and writing his crazy blog. Ryan is available for speaking gigs and can be contacted via his blog.

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3 Ways to Be Freakier this #FreakyFriday

It's #FreakyFriday ladies and gents and we want your weekends to be full of adventurous and freaky sex!

To kick off Freaky Friday, why not step outside of your comfort zone and break out of your weeknight sex routine!

We have three ways to help you become a little freakier on this chilly Naked November evening. So go ahead, close your blinds and read on for some adventurous and thrilling sexcapade ideas--because it's time to let loose and let go of your stressful week! GetLusty's Lora Swarts reports.

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#1 Experiment with BDSM or role play

If you are super new to the world of BDSM or role play, first check out these articles: Sexual Role Play 101 for Couples and 6 Tips for Getting Started with BDSM. Dressing up, using handcuffs, and acting like someone else is absolutely hot and exciting. What is freakier than pretending you are a naughty student and your partner is the stern principal? Or have you ever thought of spanking your partner or tying them up?

Getting into BDSM and role play can be a huge release from the real world and any work obligations or stresses you have faced all week long. It's time to now have fun and freaky this Friday! Just remember, be safe and use those safe words!


#2 Videotape yourself

It may sound cheesy or from the 90's, but videotaping yourself is totally freaky and hot! There isn't anything hotter and more scandalous than hearing yourself moan, groan and orgasm!

Keep the videotape for your eyes only so you can watch yourselves as a means of future foreplay or when you are apart and can't be together. If you feel like making your own porn isn't quite your cup of tea yet, try watching porn together. We have a list of 30 great feminist porn websites or visit LadyCheeky for erotica and sensual images!

Just remember, have fun with videotaping yourselves and only provide constructive criticism after viewing. One can be very vulnerable videotaping yourself and no one wants to receive negative criticism on something so intimate as this.

#3 Mutual masturbation

"I'll show you mine, if you show me yours" has never rang truer before. Mutual masturbation is the ultimate in freakiness and perfect form of foreplay. Why not show your lover that you are comfortable with your body and with your sexuality that you are willing to experience this intimate act together?

When you watch your man masturbate, you learn exactly what he loves in a handjob. When you finger yourself and play with your clitoris, you show him just how to maneuver down there! Its a win-win situation and learning opportunity for all parties involved! Plus, after you play with yourselves, you can move onto oral sex or whatever you desire! Just remember while you are masturbating yourself, give your partner a show! Be extra loud, keep eye contact and role play during and even prolong your orgasm!

Lora is our Editorial Intern and resident health nut! When she isn't writing or editing, you can find her on her yoga mat, exploring Chicago via bicycle, or hanging out with her wonderful boyfriend in their north side apartment. She has a dangerous habit of spending too much money on soy lattes and yoga clothes. Find her on Twitter @HoneyNutLo or email her at Lora@GetLusty.com if you have any questions!

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4 Lusty Sex Toys for Breast Cancer Awareness

Breast Cancer Awareness month is in full swing. So that's why we were excited to hear PinkCherry is offering their toys at a discount, and also donating $1 per item to the Breast Cancer Society. While it's #SexToyTuesday (and #ToyWithMeTuesday) we thought — let's feature toys to benefit the Breast Cancer Society!

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In GetLusty-land, it's Orgasm October! And what else is awesome in October? Breast Cancer Awareness Month! Save the ta-tas and keep 'em sexy! Here at GetLusty, we love to support a grand cause, so we must must must encourage you lovely readers to head on over to Pinkcherry for their Breast Cancer Awareness sale! Everything pink from cock rings to breast clips to vibrators, up to 75% off. Even better?

Evolved Novelties presents its Faith Pink Ribbon Vibe. With a percentage of each toy sale going towards breast cancer research, this portable sleek vibrator is a perfect addition for both beginners and seasoned veterans. Why? Not only is it super hygienic with a smooth surface, it only takes one AA battery to run! Also, water proof and it's discrete size and color make it an easy tag-along with any trip (with or without your lover).

And while you're adding the Faith Vibe to your virtual shopping cart, why not check out a few more pink goodies that will add to your vibrator experience? I highly suggest these three bonus items:

If you haven't tried a cock ring, try it guilt free now. They're also offering Silicone Island Rings for more than 50% off. These are grand for beginners, as they come in three graduated sizes. Especially recommended for the man wanting to up his endurance. A head's up: watch your man-mane down there. As these are rubbery (silicone), chances are an un-manscaped lawn may lose a few hairs if not careful. But don't let that frighten you off. Cock rings not only extend your love session, but rub up against her clit for some extra sexy stimulation. Both teams win!

Whilst supporting Breast Cancer Awareness, why not bring some awareness to your own set of lovely breasts? With these Sequined Tassels, your partner won't be able to look away. Definitely incorporate these into some mad kinky foreplay, with a floor show and all! My tip: send a subtle camera pic to your partner mid-day of your tassled ta-tas to get him riled for more.

A thrilling addition to any vibrator or fleshy male-counterpart, the G-Spot Extension adds that extra inch to really blow your mind, ladies. It's made of flexible jelly, slips easily onto the penis/vibrator head, and sits at the perfect angle to rub you just right. Just remember: water-based lube, your sex toys will thank you. I highly suggest this paired with your brand new Faith Vibe for a rocking good night, either solo or with your partner!

Just remember, readers, this month is a one for cherishing those beautiful boobs. So, if anything, go home to your lady (or, lady readers, look in a mirror) and love on those lovely ta-tas tonight!

This is a guest post by GetLusty writer, Ellen Dukes. Though Ellen Dukes is not an ethical slut (a damn respectable title, she'll have you know), her curiosity, openness, and the indefatigable search engine Google have lead her to a 21st century sex education.

A Chicagoan, you may see Ellen enjoying the delights of her deeply loving relationship with her boyfriend. Have a naughty story? She's heard naughtier, but tell her all the same at ellen@getlusty.com. She's a wannabe sexpert with years of porn viewing, listening to sex stories, and textbook browsing just waiting to put this knowledge to wonderful use.

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Ladies! 3 Types of Orgasms (NSFW)

Most men and women only really know two types of orgasms for women: vaginal and clitoral. But there's more. Much more. For women, there are a total of 11 different types of orgasms. So in honor of Orgasm October, we are featuring a series on all 11 types of orgasms so that you will be able reach your full pleasure potential! Ready ladies? Our Lora Swarts reports.

Quick side note: Why are we talking only about women? Well,  men have a different orgasm process. Ejaculating and orgasm are different from the orgasm and/or female ejaculate.

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Clitoral orgasm

The clitoral orgasm is the result of direct clitoral stimulation. Further, the clitoral orgasm is brought about because this spot is most sensitive area of the female body though it's about as small as a pea! The clitoris is so important to receiving pleasure that sexual arousal is most often felt there on some level.

However, sensitivity varies greatly from woman to woman. Some women prefer strong stimulation, while others need only a light touch. Some women are so sensitive that too much direct clitoral stimulation causes irritation and can be uncomfortable.

After a clitoral orgasm, the clit could be become very sensitive (to the point of painful) so allow a few minutes of rest afterward. A clitoral orgasm is very intense and sends waves of pleasure throughout the body. A clitoral orgasm can be reached through cunnilingus, hand stimulation (use natural lubricant or water-based lube) or with sex toys (again use lubricant).

Vaginal orgasm

There's been some debate as to whether this actually exists. A vaginal orgasm begins in the vagina and either stays in the pelvic and lower stomach area or spreads from there.

The uterus, pelvic muscles and even anus may contract from this orgasm. These contractions are so strong that they could push out whatever was stimulating the vagina.

Vaginal orgasms take longer to achieve and require stable rhythmic thrusting, so communication is important between partners to determine the best position for her to reach orgasm. Vaginal orgasms are easier to come by after having a foreplay orgasm such as clitoral stimulation. Some describe this as less intense than a clitoral orgasm but more deeply felt. It varies from person to person but it can feel like a pressure that slowly grows and explodes deep inside the vagina.

Mental orgasm

Mental orgasm? Does that mean no physical stimulation? Yes it does! This type of orgasm can occur during visual and auditory stimulation. Examples of this are movies, videos, or watching sexual behavior exhibited in front of others.

Women can be so turned on that they experience an orgasm from this excitement alone. On TLC's show "Strange Sex", Barbara Carrellas was featured having breath and energy orgasms during an MRI to showcase her brain activity during a non-genital orgasm. Can she think herself to orgasm? Watch and find out!

Throughout October, we'll be giving away products, discounts and special privileges to our GetLusty community. For example, by October 15th, we're giving away a Sqweel 2, the world's best selling oral sex toy. Become a member of our growing community. 'Like' us on Facebook and/or subscribe to our eNewsletter to join in (and win in the process). 

Lora is the GetLusty Editorial Intern and resident health nut. When she is not writing, you can find her on her yoga mat, spending too much money on soy lattes or hanging out with her wonderful boyfriend in their north side apartment. You can find her on Twitter @honeynutlo.

Have any questions about our editorial content? Contact her at Lora@GetLusty.com.

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Why My Morning Orgasm Is Better Than Coffee

Orgasm October has us thinking about orgasms constantly. And this lazy Saturday morning, we're thinking about coffee and orgasms both. Well, it's morning in Chicago at least. What better time for a cup of coffee? But have you ever considered morning orgasms replacing coffee occasionally? Yes, it's possible. Dr. Carlen Costa reports.

* * *

An orgasm in the morning is better than coffee. That’s what I always say. No matter I don't drink coffee!

Today, I am inspired by orgasms. I’m in San Francisco - the city where food is a delicacy and so is sex. People here take their sexuality very seriously, and why shouldn’t they? We are consistently plagued with variably negative, closed-minded and overt in-your-face messages in reference to our genders and sexualities.  It’s nice to be able to find a safe haven for those who identify themselves in sex positivity and allow themselves to just be (at least this has consistently been my experience coming here).

So why the orgasm?

I started my day with a lecture from the man who invented the Discostick(R). He came up with the idea when his wife was having concerns climaxing and experiencing pain. The percussive source instrument’s claim to fame is that its vibrations have been known to aid in reducing vaginal adhesions (scarring) from surgeries in women such as C-sections, hysterectomies, or repeated abdominal incisions. As mentioned, the percussive vibrations stimulate and loosen lower tendons and ligaments while also supplying a rather pleasurable massage above and below the pubic bone. The also fortunate result happens to be an orgasm! Which, let’s be honest, is amazing!

This got me thinking about orgasms. Vibrator therapy administered by doctors of the past to women were almost daily requirements in order to ‘rid women’ of ‘sickness’ such as deviancy and mania. Some women were even known to self pleasure before big events, attending church and other social gatherings. Why? In order to give them pleasing dispositions and a healthy glow.

Bring back the orgasm

You know, they may have been on to something there. Think about it. After you orgasm, either through self pleasuring or from your partner, doesn’t your day just feel so much better? Doesn’t everything just look pretty awesome? Yeah it does! So let’s talk about this; orgasms make you feel awesome, make your day better-even in that moment, and increase your sexual self esteem.

Why aren’t we having orgasm parties? Why is there still such shame associated with women’s sexuality? Why do many people still feel guilty after self pleasuring? You know what I say to that? F**K that! Literally. There are plenty of benefits and reasons for her to masturbate. There are also great reasons why he should masturbate.


Masturbate 

Make yourself some private time right now and masturbate! Or grab your partner and get jiggy, or the guy next door, maybe that girl that keeps lightly teasing you with her eyes as you’re reading this. This is a great time to get it on!

I was also able to meet someone really interesting today too. Dr. Amy Cooper is the bomb shell who wrote the book "The Everything Orgasm Book". Her book discusses everything from myths about orgasms, enhancing your orgasm experiences to 10 ways to improve your orgasm. One of the most interesting things that sparked much discussion was when she said, "If you want deeper orgasms, explore ways to do that. But don’t go against the orgasms you’re having now." Everyone wants earth shattering, mind blowing, wake up the neighbors, final act of the opera orgasms. Of course we do! The orgasm is so great it allows us to feel like we’ve slipped into temporary bliss. Everything in the world disappears for a few seconds and you get to be in your own little pleasure bubble floating around ecstasy land.

Not all orgasms are created equal 

The key to a positive life of fulfilling orgasms though is variance. Think of orgasms like chocolate. Sometimes you like a little peanut & nuget, or a little milk chocolate, then there are days when you’re just dying to have a truffle. OK, maybe 4 truffles. But that the best part! That’s OK! Orgasmic variance is what makes discovering your sexual patterns part of the fun. Exploring what feels good, mixing it up, and having different orgasmic goals is all part of the idea of the “evolving orgasm”. No one wants to stay stagnant. Our civilization feeds on change and evolution and progression to become something more and our sexuality does as well, which including our orgasms. So here’s my sexy tip:

Take your orgasm into your own hands

Be confident in your sexuality and the fact that you - yes you, deserve wonderful orgasms as much as the next person. Self pleasuring (aka masturbation) is probably the most reliable source as you really only have to deal with yourself. Incorporate fantasy, toys, lubes, varying partners, techniques, textures, light some incense or bath in a scented oils, varying positions, speeds, times of the day. The list can go on and on! Play with your clitoris, G Spot, anus, prostate, testes, nipples and all the other erogenous zones. Not sure where they are? Explore!

Either way, set yourself a goal and work up to it. Don’t get discouraged if the missions fails the first time. Your personal orgasmic recipe is individual and varies based on numerous factors. Just have fun with it though. This is supposed to be a bonding exercise for yourself with yourself.

Love yourself, and let your orgasms love you.

Lovingly cross-posted from Dr. Carlen's Sexy Living blog.

Dr. Carlen Costa is pretty awesome. A resident of London, Ontario in Canada, she's making waves in London and beyond.

As a Sexologist, "Sexy Living with Dr. Carlen" is the creation of a safe space in order to discuss concerns, desires or general questions in regards to your relationship with your partner, yourself, and others. Send me questions, send me your thoughts! Through this we will cater to all orientations, genders and age groups. We are all Sexy beings, and should feel as such in our own skins. Find Dr. Carlen on Twitter @DrCarlen and 'Like' her Facebook page.

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Men! How to Have Multiple Orgasms (NSFW)

We've talked so much about ladies orgasming, but what about for the male perspective? Are multiple orgasms even possible for gents? We wanted to find out. So, of course, we did our homework with diligent research and are here to present you the results! We'll be addressing more issues around orgasm for men throughout the month, so do stay tuned! Our interested intern Brendan White reports.

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There are plenty of articles out there with regard to female orgasms but what's out there for us guys? Convinced your man is a one-trick pony? WRONG! Men's orgasms are not simply the discharge of DNA. As part of Orgasm October, I'll be talking about the male multiple orgasm!

Oh yes, multiple orgasms are possible!

It is possible for every man to experience multiple male orgasms. Understanding multiple male orgasms can only improve pleasure for both partners in lovemaking, not to mention the health benefits of orgasms.  However, unlocking the ability to have multiple orgasms requires determination, practice and a lot of hard work.

Orgasm ≠ ejaculation

At the eye of the male multi-orgasm hurricane is the misconception that men orgasm and ejaculate at the same time. If that sounds like something you believe, quit it. Throw it out of your brain and make room for this: ejaculation can happen several seconds after an orgasm. A man can also orgasm without ejaculation - they don't have to go hand in hand. Some men may have additional orgasms without accompanying ejaculations.  The key is to reach an orgasm and to flex the good ole pubococcygeus muscle (or the PC muscle) before ejaculation for long enough to settle down, allowing you to feel the pleasure of an orgasm without softening up.

Use those PC muscles 

The PC muscle stretches from the pubic bone to the tail bone like a hammock. You can improve the strength of your PC muscle through Kegel exercises.

Strengthen your muscles with exercise 

Named after our friend Dr. Arnold Kegel, these exercises consist of voluntarily flexing your PC muscle (think that pulling feeling you feel if you try to stop urinating) while keeping your buttock and leg muscles relaxed. These exercises also help prevent male urinary incontinence, fight erectile dysfunction, reduce premature ejaculation AND increase the size and intensity of erections!

The great thing about this exercise is that you can do it anywhere you damn well please - stuck in traffic, talking to your mother, putt-putt golfing, pretending to do work in your office - you get the idea. The key, like any kind of muscle building, is to isolate the muscle. If your testicles and penis are rising a little, you're flexing your PC muscle, but try to relax and not squeeze your sphincter.

A weak PC muscle will be a hindrance in your quest to experience the male multiple orgasm because you'll need a strong PC muscle to prevent your penis from ejaculating after orgasming. Building up enough strength in your PC muscle will not happen in one frenzied night of binge pubococcygeus flexing - it will take several weeks to several months before you will be ready. The key is persistence. Think of yourself like a shaolin monk of sorts slowing punching through a wall.


Exercise. 
Then practice. 
Then exercise. 
Continue the process! Practice makes perfect!

The ideal amount of reps will be between 10-20 reps a few times a day. It's important to not rush yourself to avoid injury. After a week or two you should notice that you're completing your kegel training with more and more ease. When you reach this point, start holding the flexed PC muscle several seconds at a time during the reps.  Before you know it you'll be exploring the realm of multiple male orgasms!

Keep checking GetLusty for Couples for more helpful and informative articles during Orgasm October!

This article is by Business Outreach Intern and occasionally writer. Brendan White. Brendan is a Boston University graduate with a passion for all things historical and also all things sex. A recent Boston transplant to Chicago, Brendan has a musical mind and at one point toured the country. When he's not thinking about conquering feudal japan chances are he's playing loud rock n roll somewhere with other like-minded individuals. When he's not thinking about GetLusty he's spending time with his exceptionally lovely girlfriend. Want to get in touch with him? E-mail Brendan at brendan@getlusty.com.

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The Rabbit Pearl. Yes, It's Fabulous!

It is #SexToyTuesday in the GetLusty office! One thing we absolutely love to discuss is vibrators! Not only are a fabulous way to pleasure yourself, but couples can use them to turn each other on during foreplay!

One vibrator that seems to always come to mind is the Rabbit! I bet there is not one woman out there who doesn't know what the Rabbit is. If you have ever watched, "Sex and the City" you may remember the episode, "The Turtle and the Hare". It's from Season 1. What happens? Charlotte gets addicted to her first vibrator; the Rabbit. From Mom's Toy Boxxx, Charity is here to give you her real and honest opinion about this very famous sex toy!

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Rabbit Pearl (Yup, it's as good as you've heard!)

Mom's Notes:

- This one is loud ladies. Make sure no one is around or everyone is asleep
- It's as good as you've heard
- Uses 3-C batteries (have them handy so you don't need to steal from your kid's toy fire truck.)

First Impressions:

- Wow! This looks fun!
- Thought: "A wire... hmm, not sure if I like that"
- Silly details: the head of the toy is just that - a "head", there is a silly little face on the toy (I think because China is not allowed to export sex toys, and putting a face on it makes it less... "adult" - at least that's what I've been told.)

Personal Experience: 5/5

I can see why Charlotte (from "Sex and the City") would deem men "unnecessary" after experiencing the Rabbit! This was my first "simultaneous-sensation" toy (as in internal and external at the same time), and it changed my sex toy requirements forever!

Review:

I think it might be safe to say this is a well known toy, thanks to the character Charlotte on "Sex and the City."  I (like many) just had to try it.

The Rabbit is a smooth, soft vibrator with a jelly-like material called Elastomer (less porous than cyberskin but more porous than silicone). The power pack is a little heavier than 3-C batteries and feels comfortable in your hand (no shaking or vibrating in your palm). I did not find the 23" long wire distracting, or noticeable (I totally forgot it was there).

At top speed, this is a powerful toy. There are two sliding controls - one to control the vibrations of the rabbit, and one to control the spinning shaft. You can use both separately or together at varying speeds. It spins on an angle, making a circular motion inside the vagina, while at the same time the pearls ripple at the vaginal opening. The ability to use the vibrations or spinning separately (or together) make it perfect for anyone.

3 distinct features:

#1 The vibrating rabbit: The ears of the rabbit are soft and bendy (see photos). The vibrations carry right through to the tips of the bunny's ears. Depending on where/how you place them, the ears can straddle the clitoris. At top speed, with fresh batteries, and without the shaft spinning at the same time, the vibrations are quite intense (and loud).

#2 The spinning shaft: This is a well made toy. The shaft is strong, with a solid metal bar deep in the middle. The spinning motion is smooth and comfortable. You control the speed of the spin with the sliding control piece mentioned earlier.

#3 The rippling pearls: If you've had kids, you may not find these as noticeable like someone with a "pre-child" vagina would (sorry, but given the focus of this blog - I have to say it like it is). When combined with the spinning shaft and vibrations, the pearls provide stimulation that make the entire experience EXTREMELY pleasurable.

I highly recommend the Rabbit Pearl. It is well made, and will provide years of pleasure. Given it's well know reputation, I would even buy this as a gift for a girlfriend.

There are many, many duplicates out there, so do your research and pick one that is made well and has the features you think sound fun. In the US, Eden Fantasy's has this exact model.



Good:
- Batteries last a long time
- Personalized speed and power
- Rabbit ears are flexible and provide multiple placement options

Not So Good:
- Power decreases when using both vibrator and spinner.

Bottom Line:
Type: Vaginal
Volume = 5/5
Cost = $50-$75
Storage Size = Box
Power = 3-C batteries
Waterproof = No
Good for = Beginner+

Originally posted at Mom's Toy Boxxx.

Charity is the author of Mom's Toy Boxxx, a sex toy review site for moms. After having kids Charity found her sex toy needs changed. "Volume" control, toy storage, cost and ease of use all took on new meanings once kids were in the house. Even a toy's appearance can influence a mom's purchase: as she's written: "I'd rather my kids find my vibrator than a phallic-looking dildo"!

Being a mom can be exhausting, and by the time the kids are asleep, sometimes the last thing a mom wants to do is put time and energy into getting off. Foreplay often takes too long, or isn't long enough and does not guarantee an orgasm. There's nothing wrong with a quickie, but it just doesn't satisfy like a toy can. Charity's goal is to help moms navigate the vast toy market quickly and efficiently to find satisfying items...and remember that just because you're a mom, doesn't mean you're sexual needs aren't still a big part of the picture! Follow Charity on Twitter @MomsToyBoxxx.

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Ladies! Are You Reaching Your Orgasm Potential?

It's Orgasm October. Every female should be able to experience orgasms throughout her life. Not only do orgasms give us an amazing feeling, but they are also healthy! Yet, we still hear about women not reaching their orgasm potential or have never even experienced the magic that is an orgasm. But why is this? Devi Ward, an international authentic tantra educator and sensual empowerment coach, has a few reasons for this. Start reaching your orgasm potential today with a little help from Devi!

* * *


Set goals to reach your orgasm potential

There’s a lot of talk these days about women & orgasm: 8 different kinds vs. none. Questions like: is it easy, is it difficult, should we focus on it, or not put so much pressure on ourselves for the “end goal” of climax.

I and GetLusty encourage women to explore their multi-orgasmic potential, and discover the more than 8 different kinds of orgasm our bodies are capable of. For examples, there are 3 kinds of orgasms and 3 more kinds of orgasms for ladies. Some people say that this “goal oriented” approach to sexuality causes women to feel inadequate. Then, they aren’t able to achieve those results, as it sets them up for failure, disappointment and a lifetime of sexual dissatisfaction.

Well that’s one point of view. Here’s mine:

Imagine that you have in your hands the most technologically advanced computer on the planet, capable of mathematically calibrating dimensional portals into other realms of existence.

With the potential to open the entire human race to universal awareness & connection with higher states of consciousness. Now imagine that you had no idea that your computer was capable of such a thing. You thought it was just an ordinary Mac or PC, and just like everybody else, had been operating it as such. Operating at maybe 10% of it’s actual potential.

Next, imagine that you encountered someone who had used this particular computer before, and knew it’s true capabilities. This person could see that you had no idea the potential of what you held in your hands. This person had also mistaken this technologically advanced vehicle for a mere laptop, at one time, but had learned it’s true abilities, and discovered how to maximize it’s potential.

And what if this person said to you- “Hey, do you know what you have in your hands?! Oh my god! You can transform life as you know it with that device. That machine is the key to the kingdom of heaven, not just for yourself, but for all of humankind!

All you need to do to access it’s full potential is:

a) Understand what it’s capable of.
b) Understand why it hasn’t been operating at its optimum level.
c) Slowly and carefully tune it up; recalibrate it.

Add an app here, do a virus scan there, work out the kinks and you’ll be flying high! Wouldn’t you want to know that? Wouldn’t you want to know if your operating system was running on only 10% of it’s full potential? Wouldn’t you want to find out WHY that was happening and change it if you could, so that you were running at 100% of your capacity, or at least moving in that direction? I say all of this because I was one of those non-orgasmic, inadequate feeling, sexually repressed, “average” women.

I talk about the eight different orgasms for women because I personally experience them. I went from one standard clitoral orgasm during self-stimulation to multi-orgasmic. Also, no orgasms with my partners, painful penetration, and a complete inability to communicate about my sexuality. To now being regularly multi-orgasmic, fully and lovingly expressive about my sexuality, and emotionally, spiritually & mentally free in ways I never even knew existed.

Have I realized my ultimate potential? Nope. Not even close. And that is what is so exciting! I have amazing tools, and I use them, and I continue to grow & expand beyond my current personal & sexual boundaries.

I continue to awaken to even more of my personal orgasmic potential as a woman. I celebrate this loudly because I believe that every woman has a right to know what her true sexual potential is, and have ways to access and explore that potential everyday. I believe that it is our birthright as women to understand the full pleasure potential of our bodies and have healthy role models who have begun to realize and embody this. Now as a woman, I ask you, does that make you feel inadequate?

Originally posted at Authentic Tantra.

Devi Ward is an International Authentic Tantra Educator & Sensual Empowerment Coach. Devi has been on a path of Erotic Awakening and Spiritual Embodiment since 1993, studying meditation, holistic healing arts, and alternative forms of erotic expression. Devi has been a Professional Sensual Movement Artist since 1992.

Devi is the Founder of Feminine Emergence and creator of Sacred Erotic Dance™; a Movement-Healing modality that uses The 5 Core Pelvic Movements™, Authentic Tantra™ & Sensual Dance, to produce physical, emotional and spiritual healing in our relationship to sexual and sensual self-expression. Her new book “Shake Your Soul Song! A Woman’s Guide To Self-Empowerment Through The Art of Self-Pleasure” will release in October 2012. Follow Devi on Twitter @deviwardtantra and on Facebook.

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GetLusty Wants You to Win a Sqweel 2

It's Orgasm October. And the thought of these many orgasms... It's exciting. So the good folks over at Lovehoney gave us a sex toy to share the love. And orgasms. Whee! Ladies, do you like getting orgasms? Do you orgasm from oral sex like I do? Then you should try out Sqweel!

What is Sqweel?

Sqweel is the world's best oral sex toy. And it just got better, ladies.

Not only Sqweel. It's version 2! This one hasn't even been released to the market. It's an extra special giveaway only for GetLusty for Couples readers!

Just as the picture shows, there are 10 tongues. You lube them up, and they're extra soft, gentle and vary speeds.

They're also not in the form of a dildo as most other vibrators are so your man won't be nervous about it introducing on his manliness.

Now, this one isn't just for the ladies! Your guy can also use this on himself or you! Think: running it down his frenulum as an aide in blowjobs! The alternative?

Guy on guy action? You can use this, too! Use it to simulate nipple licking. Use your sqweel for off road tires, maybe? Thanks TrevMurphy from Flickr for the pic.


With love,
Erica Grigg
Chief Lust Officer and co-founder, GetLusty for Couples

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Foreskin 201: Why and Why Not? (NSFW)

We got some flack for offending the foreskin. We didn't really mean to. We love foreskins! GetLusty loves all penises, dicks and your preferred nickname. Our Penis Anatomy 101 article has received more comments per reader than any other article on GetLusty!

So, of course, the follow up is... What are these folks (mostly men unsurprisingly) so passionate about? We may turn this into a series. Is this sentiment that's leading to the USA reducing its rates of circumcision? There are many fervent advocates on both side of the fence. So here, we address these issues. Call it a debate! Feel free to continue the conversation below. We love comments!

* * *

Foreskin: The Why and Why Not?

Last week, I wrote an article that discussed a few interesting facts about the penis. Circumcision was mentioned, and to some individuals, some of the statements made, real and true, offended those who might call themselves “intactivists.”

Basically, these passionate individuals are against the practice of circumcision, because to them it is considered genital mutilation. Because of such a strong response, I thought I’d take the time out and mention the pros and cons of circumcision, as well as the whys behind circumcision—whether they are medical, sexual, religious, or cultural reasons.

As I mentioned in Penis 101, most men, specifically 60-75% men in the United States, are estimated to be circumcised. That’s not a small number, and to some, it is too large of a number. But wait, let’s talk about why this might be.

Medical

1) Medical: Foreskin is supposed to be retractable. In other words, it should be able to slide up and down the shaft and cover the head of the penis, without discomfort or pain.

However, only 1 in 20 newborn have foreskin that is retractable right away. For some boys, it takes a year or even three. For others, there might be a problem where the foreskin is unable to retract or retracts and gets stuck near the base of the penis. These are actual medical conditions, which can be cured through circumcision. In that case, parents feel it beneficial to circumcise their child so he does not feel pain and possibly have more complications.

Now, when the child is born with a functioning foreskin, it is highly recommended to teach the child how to clean their foreskin. On the underside of the foreskin, there is a mucus membrane which is very similar to the inside of the eye and mouth. This wet and warm area can harbor different types of bacteria and some men find the lack of cleaning can produce a cheese-like substance to sit underneath the foreskin. Not to say there is anything wrong with cheese-like substances, but that isn’t the most appealing sight and definitely not the kind of cheese a woman wants to eat while hanging out with her partner.

Because the foreskin traps bacteria in the genital area, there is a higher risk for sexually transmitted diseases for uncut guys. Now, this isn’t only a risk for the men, but also for the men and women they are sleeping with.

Cervical cancer and penile cancer are both caused by different strands of HPV. Interestingly enough, five studies showed that no man who was circumcised as a newborn developed penile cancer, while the lifetime risk for an uncircumcised man developing this cancer was one in six-hundred.

Does that mean that all men should be circumcised because of these reasons? Absolutely not. It just means that men need to be aware of their foreskin and make sure it’s clean and taken care of, especially before, during, and after practicing safe sex.

Sexual

2) Sexual: Although research is unclear and scientists are not certain of these findings, by removing te foreskin, it is commonly assumed that men are losing some sexual stimulation. It is true that the foreskin has nerve endings that could cause more sensitivity and sexual pleasure to be experienced.

Also, the foreskin is sometimes viewed as beneficial because it acts as a sleeve that makes the gliding of the penis during masturbation and sex easier and naturally lubricated.

 However, if you ask a circumcised guy if they feel less or more with or without their foreskin, they most likely would not be able to tell you. The reason for this is because most men are circumcised while they are infants. In fact, some men would even say that they have a hard enough time controlling their ejaculation without extra sensitivity of the foreskin. Each man is different and for many men, it is what it is. They don’t know better with or without the foreskin. Don’t get me wrong—there are websites and blogs that showcase men who are upset that they didn’t have a choice in their circumcision.

Because of religion

3) Like we mentioned above, some men just need to get circumcised because their foreskin wasn’t fully functional. But for many, it was simply their parents’ decision based on cultural and religious practices. In the Jewish faith, it is customary to have the newborn boy circumcised on the eighth day. In this religion, it is considered a rite of passage and performed by a specific religious leader trained in surgical procedures.

Similarly in Islam, the boys are circumcised. It does not have to be right after the baby is born, but is seen as a rite of passage as well. Now, circumcision is not only done by Jewish or Islamic people, but by Christians all over the world as well. From Kenya to the United States, it is considered a common practice and not frowned upon by many people.

However, there are many individuals who do consider circumcision to be the sole choice of the male who has the penis. It makes sense, but obviously, circumcision is not a simple topic considering medical, sexual, and religious concerns. Understandably, some males feel like circumcision wasn't, 'their choice' and they'll leave it up to their own sons to make that choice. We understand! Foreskin can be a big part of who you are. And it can feel like something's missing when you don't have it.

At GetLusty, we believe in respect and love—of yourself and of one another. To each their own. To healthy genitals. To great sex. To you—with or without your foreskin. There is a whole lot to love.

Call her Tia. She's a recent graduate of the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign. During her college career, she was part of a volunteer group called the Sexual Health Peers where she bonded with like-minded, sex-positive people from various backgrounds and orientations.

She has taught workshops on STDs, birth control, safe sex, and relationships. It was one of the highlights of her college career and allowed her to get involved in Planned Parenthood of Illinois in Action. She was a Campaign Organizer who stood for the reproductive rights of women in Illinois.

As a third-wave feminist, she currently works in the makeup industry promoting what she believes in: women should feel and be as beautiful as they want to without scrutiny. She believes in teaching factual and healthy outlooks on sex and relationships as a way to create a sex-positive culture where future generations can thrive.

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