Best of 2012! Blowjob 101: Ten Tips for His Best Orgasm (NSFW)

Dick & Dildo December is over but Jizz January is here! We love oral sex, both giving it and receiving it. It is one of the most intimate experiences a couple can share together. Pleasing our partner is an amazing physical way to become that much closer. We have already featured articles on things you should not to do mid-blowjob, parts one and two. Camille Crimson, for example, talked about her favorite blowjob tips. Follow Camille's wonderful article, But what other things we should be doing while engaging in the blowjob? Since we have had great response to our cunnilingus 101 article, we thought it was about time we wrote a an article on the, blowjob 101. Here are our ten tips for giving an amazing blowjob! GetLusty's Lora Swarts reports.

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I am sure you have heard it before, "Sex is a lot like pizza. When it's bad, it's still pretty good." Men love oral sex and no matter what, when you are going down on him, he is in absolute heaven. Women? We need a little more than some mediocre pizza. So, if you really want to blow past his expectations and give him the best pizza he has ever had, read these ten tips on how to give a great blowjob! Sure oral sex is different for everyone, and that is why consent and communication are the only ways to know what he wants and what makes him feel good! Without further adieu....

Get accustomed with the penis anatomy 

Sure a penis is not as intricate as a vagina. But we think it's important to still educate ourselves on the penis anatomy so you know just what's going on!

Just like women, men don't always groom the hair down there. So don't feel grossed out or deny oral pleasure because your guy has a little pubic hair- hair is natural. What else is natural? Odor. You should never make someone feel bad for any kind of smell that is happening below the belt, because well, that is just rude and doesn't turn anyone on.

Making someone feel confident is the best kind of foreplay. If it is an issue though, mention you want to shower together pre-sex. It is not only a great way to bond and feel intimate, but you will feel clean and more willing to go down on each other. Now that that's over, let us move on to the anatomy. A human penis is the external sexual organ of a male. Now it certainly has more parts internally than externally, but unlike a vagina, we only focus for the most part, on the outer parts. The penis consists of the scrotum, glans (head) of the penis, shaft (corpus cavernosa and corpus spongisum), testes and urethral opening and foreskin. Now that we know what's going on down there, lets move on to the fun part! The actual blowjob! Here are our ten tips for giving great head.

#1 Eye contact 


Once and awhile, gaze up at your guy. There is nothing sexier then looking into each other's eyes as your mouth is wrapped around his penis. Hold his gaze for just a little bit, then return to focusing on the job at hand.

Always use this eye contact moment to see how he is doing. Listen for his moans, or watch his facial expressions. If something doesn't seem to be working for him, communicate.

#2 Use your hands! 

Sure it's a blow job, but your hands always make them better! Make an "o" shape with your hand and wrap it around his shaft. As you bob up and down his penis, your hand will act as though you are taking him all in at once! Plus the mixture of a hand job and blow job gives him different and pleasurable sensations.

#3 Lick him like an ice cream cone

I am sure this is a pretty self-explanatory tip. Keep your tongue flat and lick his penis from the base to the tip slowly like it's melting ice cream. Not only does this just look sexy, but it feels damn good for him too!  

#4  Play with his balls 

Since we just mentioned licking him like an ice cream cone, why not talk about the nuts that usually accompany the ice cream split? Licking his balls and gently sucking on them provide an amazing feeling. Gently stroke and lick by taking one ball in your mouth at a time and using your tongue to play with it. Then move on to the next ball.

#5 Pace yourself

Pacing is important in making a blowjob not only feel great, but it also keeps him on edge, anticipating the finale. Instead of having a constant rhythm bobbing up and down, try this! Bob up and down slowly five times. Then mix it up with three slow, two fast bobs. Mixing up your speed and pace helps with the anticipation- which is key to amazing oral.

#6 Tongue action 


Use your tongue and swirl it in circles around the tip/head of his penis. Then, go in the opposite direction. He will definitely gasp and moan since this area is super sensitive.

#7 Suction

Create a suction action, popping his penis in and out of your mouth. Place the back of your tongue on the roof of your mouth and then with his penis in your mouth, slide your tongue backward. It is like you're vacuuming his dick, in a pleasant way of course. Picture sucking on your thumb as a kid and his penis is your thumb. Some men are very sensitive however, so ask him to suck on your finger first, to show you how he intense he wants the suction to be.

#8 Explore

Depending on your guy, exploration can be really hot. Maybe play with his butt hole with your fingers.   Explore his scrotum territory. The scrotum is located behind the penis, and is the sac (pouch) that contains the testes, blood vessels and part of the spermatic cord. Lick his scrotum as you move your hand up and down his shaft. He will feel an ultimate wow sensation. Once you are ready for his cock again, guide your tongue up the underside of his penis and hear him moan as your suck his head back into your mouth.

#9 Play with yourself too

Sure giving a blowjob is all about well, his penis. But guess what? When you moan, groan and get turned on, he gets harder! So if you have a free hand, go ahead and start playing with yourself too. Don't forget to gaze up at him when you are sucking on his dick and playing with your clit. He will have trouble containing himself seeing you as excited as you are!

#10 Swallow?  

If you don't mind swallowing, do it! Or if swallowing isn't your thing, request that you want him to come all over your stomach, in between your breasts or on your face.

See what he wants and let him release however he wants (but we recommend either talking it out first or sensually talking about it throughout the process). That'll make his orgasm all the more wild!

Blowjobs shouldn't be intimidating and should just be fun. Communicate effectively and use some of these tips to make your blowjobs that much better. He will surely love to reciprocate back to you. And if he does, mention our cunnilingus 101 article for tips.

Lora is our Editorial intern and resident health nut. When she is not writing and editing, you can find her on her yoga mat, exploring Chicago via bicycle, or hanging out with her wonderful boyfriend and Beagle puppy in their north side apartment. She has a habit of spending too much money on soy lattes and yoga clothes. Find her on Twitter @HoneyNutLo. Have any questions? Email her at Lora@GetLusty.com!

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Best of 2012! Camille Crimson's Top 10 Places to Give a Blowjob (NSFW)

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Best of 2012! Erotic Spanking 101: Positions & Toys (NSFW)

Spanking seems like a lost art to many non-kinksters. More than taboo, it seems like it could be painful or malicious. At GetLusty, we're all about educating so you do it right. Spanking can be really enjoyable. It can also provide a different set of sensations during your sex sessions than you normally don't get. Before doing the more kinky activities, we do recommend you read Jean-Luc Gothos Sexual Negotiation 101 and talk about consent. Always, always, always talk about it before you do it! Let each other know you're curious about doing something different. You know--shaking things up a little.

That being said, you heard from our long-time writer Ellen Dukes about whipping and flogging. Now, how about a more rounded out view on erotic spanking? We think this practice is rather sexy, so GetLusty's Rachel Colias is here to report on why and how you can try this erotic foreplay artfully.

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Have your fantasies ever included being disciplined? Do you become aroused by rough, consensual play? Is the idea of being someone’s submissive partner one you enjoy? If you answered yes to any of these questions, or are excited by the scenarios, you may be interested in exploring erotic spanking! The technical term for being aroused by spanking is spankophilia, and you don’t have to be on the receiving end to enjoy it! Spankophilia also includes becoming aroused by delivering a spanking to other parties.

As simple as spanking sounds, those here at GetLusty for Couples are here to explain how complex it can really be. Between different positions, toys, foreplay, costumes and role play, it can get more complicated than you’d think. But if erotic spanking is something you want to try, or if you want to mix up your spanking routine, I’m sure we can offer you a great selection to choose from!

The possibilities for erotic spanking are so extensive that we’ve decided to split the article up into two parts. This first part outlines different positions and toys that are great for spanking.

While many may assume erotic spanking is a more modern kink, there’s evidence that it actually dates back to around the sixth century b.c. The evidence for this being an image found in an Etruscan burial site depicting an eroticized flagellation, or, flogging. This erotic punishment also permeated quite a bit into Victorian culture and, more specifically, pornography. Of course it’s hard to say where and when it truly started, but it’s hardly outdated! Let’s get started on the basics.

Positions 

What better place to start than the how? It’s easy to assume that most positions include a person being in a bent over position, but it doesn’t necessarily have to be that bland. Here are a few tips on different ways to set up the act: (Remember! You can add ankle, wrist, or body restraints to any of these positions!)

#1 The spanker sits in the middle of a long couch,  while the spankee — person being spanked — lays stomach-down across their lap with their ass positioned directly over the spanker’s crotch. If the spanker happens to be male-bodied, this gives the spankee a wonderfully exciting sensation when he/she/they start(s) to become aroused. This is also a pretty comfortable position for the spankee.

#2 The spankee kneels on a couch or chair, facing backwards, bending over with their hands on the back of the furniture. The spanker stands in front of the couch or chair, facing the spankee’s back. This gives the spanker a pretty dominant position considering they’re practically standing over the spankee and is perfect for dominant/submissive play.

#3 The spankee lies stomach-down on the floor, ass either flat or slightly elevated if you want to tuck a pillow under the spankee’s stomach, while the spanker either stands or kneels above them.

#4 A modification to the previous option, the spankee can also lay stomach-down on a bed, table, or any other flat surface that allows for the spanker to stand over them.

#5 Both the spanker and spankee are standing for this one. The spankee leans slightly forward, hands either flat against a wall or holding on to something like a table or door frame. The spanker stands behind or slightly beside the spankee.

#6 Of course, the classic spankee bent over the spanker’s lap. This is different from the first scenario in that it’s generally performed in a chair where the spankee is entirely bent over, not just lying down. Again, if the spanker is male-bodied there’s an added pleasure bonus for the spankee!

#7 The spankee bends over a table, lying stomach-down on its surface, while the spanker stands behind.

#8 The spankee is bent over the shoulder or the arm of the spanker.

#9 Looking for something a little more serious and expensive? Try purchasing a spanking bench! This apparatus comes in quite a few positional styles and can include rings for restraints.

All of the above-mentioned techniques are suggestions that can easily be modified to fit different scenarios or furniture. If you have any personal favorites I haven’t mentioned, leave them in the comments below!

Toys

But what do we do with all these new, fun situations? Here are a few toys, or spanking tools, you can integrate into the process now that you’ve assumed the position:

#1 In honor of #SexToyTuesday, my first suggestion is Chicago’s Early To Bed Jack Boot Paddle (to the right). Be warned, this paddle is not for beginners or light dabblers. This boot-shaped paddle packs a punch! The boot print is made of rubber and the paddle wood, so there is NO give! When you get spanked, you will definitely feel it!

#2 If the serious-business paddles aren’t really your style, why not try the back of a hairbrush? It’s much smaller and while plastic or wood still stings, it’s easier and cheaper to experiment with. Similarly, you can use a wooden spoon.

#3 Another wooden option would be a cane, which comes in all lengths and girths.

#4 Standard paddle (comes in materials such as soft leather, rubber, or wood and can even be found with feathers or a soft material cover for a lighter sensation).

#5 Riding crop, which is long and generally comes with a handle on one end and small, flat spanking surface on the other. These are effective in causing quick, sharp and stinging sensations.

#6 The classic hand. While pretty standard and totally free, there is definitely a variety of techniques that can be used. These include flat hand with fingers spread, cupped hand, hard open palm, an immediate spank-and-grope, and basically anything else you can think of!

#7 Although this isn’t necessarily “spanking,” flogs and whips are also great for delivering a backside-beating.

As always, feel free to comment about your own favorite toys!

This article was written by Rachel Colias. She’s currently getting her bachelors in English and Women’s and Gender studies and feels especially passionate about advocating for the importance of consent and communication. 

Her hobbies include shopping for new vibrators playing roller derby, and getting tattoos her mom doesn’t approve of. When she’s not writing for GetLusty or doing homework, she’s playing with her bearded dragon Terrance and you can generally find her reading comic books with her loving boyfriend of six years or eating pizza and watching Netflix. You can find and follow her Tumblr blog here! Also connect with her at editorial@getlusty.com.

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5 Ways to Make Sex More Sensual

You've heard from GetLusty about intimacy and sensuality in sex - about intimacy before and after. So how about making the act itself - whether that's intercourse or foreplay - more sensual? Our newest writers, the cutest counseling couple we've seen recently, Dr. Janelle Alex, Ph.D. and Rob Alex, M.Sc., are here to shed light on sensuality in sex.

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When you hear the word “sensual” you are most likely going to relate it to something sexual. If someone says to you, “You should try these strawberries. They are the most sensual fruit I have ever tasted,” where does your mind go?

Does it click in on just the fact that those strawberries must have been ripened to perfection? Or does your mind instantly click to a sexy image of biting into the fruit? What if someone offers to take you on a sensual journey? The first thing that probably comes to mind is the sexual scenario implied by such an offer and not the possibility he/she was just inviting you to the local grocery and department store. That could be sensual after all – taste this food, smell that cologne, feel this fabric, hear that song, read those tabloid headlines.

Yet, isn’t doing your regular shopping something you sometimes dread. It has become boring. It feels like a chore. You just want to hurry up and get it over with because you know you need to do it, but really don’t want to. Uh oh, those descriptions might well cover something else in your life. Sex.

Sex can absolutely be animalistic and a "rip your clothes off and jump on your partner" experience, but it can be very slow and sensual too. It should never just be about taking off your clothes, getting under the covers, groping each other a couple of minutes and then bumping and grinding for a few more minutes. So, how can you explore sensuality and bring it back into your sex life? Remember that sensual means that you are gratifying the senses. Satisfying all of your desires such as seeing, touching, smelling, hearing, and tasting is where sensuality really arrives on the scene. And, guess what, satisfying your sixth sense – your intuition or spiritual self, is quite sensual too.

Here are 5 ways to make your intimate play sensual. Bonus: Call it intimate play ;) That changes it up right from the start.

#1 Focus on sensation

Wear clothing that feels good on your skin. Silk is a common suggestion here as it is cool to touch and so smooth. The feel of it brushing against your skin throughout the day can be a turn on. And, when your partner touches you through the silk that can be extremely exciting for both of you. If you don’t want to wear a sensual type of material during the day, then pick up some silk scarves or a feather or something velvety. Then you can use these different items to drag over your lover’s skin later in the evening. Focus on the sensation of the material or item touching you. It may be relaxing, tickly, or it may just have you ready to grab your lover and get busy.

#2 Light up your senses

Bring different flavors and smells into your lovemaking. One interesting way to do this is to get the Sexy Challenge: Lips Like Sugar as it offers you unique insight into trying different tastes with and/or upon your partner. Adding different flavors to your physically intimate life with your beloved can occur in a variety of ways. Food may seem like an obvious thing to bring into your lovemaking and there are many ways to do that, but don’t overlook flavored lubes as well. There are also a vast number of ways to bring in amazing aromas. Scented candles (we always recommend flameless candles for safety), lotions, colognes, lubes, and the different food items are all great ways to enhance your sensuality.

#3 Listen

What about hearing? How can you make that sensual? You could whisper sexy phrases or words of love into your partner’s ear. You could turn on music that you both enjoy and that will get you in the mood.

But what about hearing the sound of your lover’s laughter? Bringing laughter and silliness into your sex life can be an amazing experience. Just let go and be goofy together. Laughter and lightheartedness will bring powerful, playful passion into your life and hopefully, you will come to appreciate the sensuous sound of your lover’s laugh.

#4 Massage

Time for a little naked massage! Yay! This actually satisfies more than one sense. With low lighting you can visually soak up the beauty of your sweetie all oiled up and glistening, but you can enjoy the aromas of scented oils or just the animalistic smell of him/her too. With both of you naked you can take turns rubbing your hands, your feet and your entire body – yep, genitals are great massage tools too – over your lover.

#5 Focus on their pleasure

Last but not least, we highly recommend that you pay attention and be consciously aware not only during foreplay and lovemaking, but at the peak of orgasm, after you are coming down from orgasm and for the next couple of days.

How do you feel? Did you notice anything out of the ordinary – visions, images, an extreme sense of bliss or simply like you entered a void or time was suspended? Sexual orgasmic energy taps you into the creative source (call it whatever you like – the Universe, Spirit, God, the Divine or even I don’t know what it is, but it sure feels goooood). This access to creativity through orgasm is why we want you to pay attention up to a few days later to see if you are more creative, have new ideas, solve problems easier than normal or maybe you just have a bigger smile on your face and feel energized.

Use these five ways to bring more sensuality into your sex life and we believe you will transform your relationship and take your intimacy to a higher level – no matter where it is now.

We're so excited to get a couple writing for GetLusty! They're both adorable, smart and altogether wonderful!

Dr. Janelle Alex, Ph.D. and Rob Alex, M.Sc. are writers, counselors as well as Sacred and Sensual Teachers. They recently completed an eBook on "Sexy Challenges: Sacret and Sensual Experiences for Lovers" which is on sale at Amazon! Learn more about them on Sexy Challenges.

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5 Yoga Poses for Better Sex

This new year, health is probably an issue coming to your mind soon in the form of resolutions. But how about feeling better and enjoying a better sex life? GetLusty For Couples is totally serious about being healthy, because being healthy can give you a better sex life. This is the second in a series on using yoga for better sex. Our yogini, Lora Swarts, is here to talk about how yoga can be used to improve your sex life.

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Yoga has an abundance of benefits for both your mental and physical well-being. As a yoga student myself, I have seen changes in my own body that, honestly, running never gave me. The endorphins are still there after a yoga class, however what's not there is a feeling of anxiousness. When I would run I would compete with myself. "Run faster" or "run farther" "don't walk, that is for quitters." Running which once was fun, had turned into a very competitive personal sport that I really needed to break up with. When I found yoga, my entire mindset changed. 

I have no more competitions with myself. I feel better emotionally, and I have more confidence. Yoga melts away anxiety, poor body image, and fatigue and worry. When you are free from these, then your inhibitions seem to dissolve as well, bringing you closer to better sex and orgasm. When you are connected to your inner self and spirit rather than the clutter in your head, you get closer to the present and worry less about how you are performing or what your body looks like. The sex becomes more freeing and uninhibited.

I always recommend that everyone should give yoga a shot.  Soon enough you will start to reap the benefits and your partner will too. In our last post, I recommended 5 yoga poses to help your body and mind get in better shape for sex. Now I am back with 5 more poses! Try doing these with your partner for a little added fun before you head to the bedroom.



#1 Cat/Cow

Cat/cow pose is a simple warm-up that engages your pelvic muscles. When you are doing cat/cow you strengthen your Kegel muscles, the ones that contract during orgasm.

To do cat/cow pose:

Come into a table top position with your shoulders over wrists and your hips directly over your knees. Inhale (cow) drop your belly, lift your chest up away from your belly and extend your tailbone toward the sky. Exhale (cat pose), press into your hands, round your back like a cat, gently contract your abdominal muscles. Repeat these moves six times.

#2 Plank pose

Plank pose helps strengthen core and abdominal muscles.

To do plank pose or as my yoga teacher says, "plankasana":

Stack your shoulders over your wrists. Keep your body flat as a board. Press back through your heels. Hold plank pose for 30 seconds and rest for 15 seconds and repeat for another 30 seconds. The yogi push up, also known as, chaturanga, is also very important in strengthening your arm muscles because they require lots of control. To do a chaturanga, come forward onto your toes, bend your elbows (keeping them close to your ribcage) and lower half way down creating a 90 degree angle with your arms. Hold in this low push up for a few seconds, without letting your body collapse. To rest, come down to your stomach and rest with one ear on your mat. Doing planks and yogi push ups will get your arms toned and ready for any sexy position in your future!

#3 Cobra 

Cobra pose, is a heart opener pose. Heart openers connect to our heart chakras. Love, energy, and breath come from the heart chakra and therefore this pose indirectly connects to our sexual intimacy. Its an energizing, mild back bend too. So when you are feeling too tired, try a few cobras to open your heart and awaken your sexual energy!

To do cobra:

You can enter cobra after lowering from plank pose, or just get right into on its own. Lie on your belly with your palms facing down, close to your low ribs. Draw your legs together and press the tops of your feet into the floor. Press your hands down evenly as your draw your elbows close to the sides of your body. On an inhale, using the strength of your back, not the force of your hands, lift your chest off the mat and draw your shoulders away from your ears. Gaze slightly in front of your mat to keep your head, neck and spine aligned. This pose comes from your lower back, so release the tension in your glutes. Hold this pose for about 10 seconds, then gently release to the floor. Do three sets of cobra pose.


#4 Utkata Konasana or Goddess pose

Who doesn't want to feel like a goddess in this victory squat? This pose strengthens your glutes, thighs, quads and abdominal muscles. You will feel strength from your insides, out.

To do goddess pose:

Stand at the top of your mat. Step to the right, opening your legs about three feet apart. Turn your heels in and your toes out. Bend your knees until you are in a wide squat and your thighs are parallel to the ground. Ensure that your knees are directly over your ankles so adjust your stance if you need to. Bring your hands to prayer position. Hold here for 5 focused, deep breaths.

#5 Bound angle pose

Baddha Konasana, or bound angle pose, opens up the thighs and groins while increasing blood flow to your genitals.

To do Baddha Konasana:

Sit with your legs out in front of you. Bend your knees, draw your heels as close to your pelvis as possible and bring the soles of your feet together. Allow your knees to open. Always keep the outer edges of your feet planted on the floor. Grasp your big toes with your thumb, index and middle fingers.  Don't force your knees open, rather release the heads of your thigh bones to the floor and your knees will follow. Your pelvis should be in a neutral position and your perineum parallel to the floor. Hold for 1-5 minutes. To release, on an inhale, slowly bring your knees together and straighten your legs out in front of you.

Try these five yoga poses to gain some strength, confidence and better circulation. Do these poses in a row to create a mini yoga sequence that you can do anywhere! Add in some downward facing dogs and child's pose when you need to rest.

Namaste!

Lora is our Editorial intern and resident health nut. When she is not writing or editing, you can find her on her yoga mat, exploring Chicago via bicycle, or hanging out with her wonderful boyfriend and Beagle puppy in their north side apartment. She has a habit of spending too much money on soy lattes and yoga clothes. Find her on Twitter @HoneyNutLo. Have any questions? Email her at Lora@GetLusty.com!

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5 Ways to Make Missionary Mind Blowing

This holiday season, we're being extra adventurous. But after trying all our other sex positions, we still kinda love missionary. Missionary can be mundane, but it doesn't have to be. Are you growing tired of your normal, missionary, sex routine? We love sex positions and updating the "vanilla", and sometimes boring, missionary position will definitely improve your sex life and keep things interesting and hot. Just because Freaky Friday has come and gone doesn't mean you can't mix in a little freakiness into an ordinary Monday! Go ahead and read these five variations of the standard missionary position from our Michigan-based Sexologist superstar, Megan Stubbs!

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Typically described as “man-on-top and woman-on-bottom," the missionary position classic go-to configuration is one that millions of couples have engaged in over the years. As legend has it, this position found its name from Christian missionaries because they believed this position to be the right, and only way, to have sexual intercourse. Other cultures, religions, and groups, have their own name for this position as well (the "angelic position" and "manner of serpents").

The missionary position is prized for its level of intimacy because of how close you can be with your partner. It's great for eye contact, kissing, and is fairly low impact. But if you’ve grown tired of the standard missionary, try out one of these five variations.

#1 A tight squeeze

Ladies once your partner is inside, both of you keep your legs together. Move your pelvis so it is slightly below his and have him give you deep thrusts and rock against your mons pubis. The increased tightness from your legs being together will feel great to him, and because you are positioned slightly below his pelvis, the base of his penis should rub against your clitoris.

#2 One flight up 

While on your back, bring your knees to your chest and have your partner enter you. Move your calves to rest onto his shoulders and have him brace himself with his hands by your side. This position is great for your man to run the show and leaves you open for deliciously deep penetration. Fun fact for this position: it is awesome for anal too!

#3 Give me props

Ladies, grab some pillows and prop them under your butt. Have your partner enter you and hold himself above you (think upward-facing dog) and have him give you slow deep circular thrusting motions. This position is great for him because he gets greater access to you and the angle at which your pelvis is at is perfect for G-spot stimulation.

#4 Erotic embrace

Ladies, this position plays out like standard missionary except you wrap your arms and legs around your partner. This position is great because it allows you to get maximum skin-on-skin contact with your partner. You are able to easily give kisses, whisper sweet nothings, and caress your partner's face. A rocking motion rather than thrusting can heighten the level of intimacy as well.

#5 Seeing stars

Begin having missionary style sex and as you approach climax, slide yourself to where your upper half is hanging off the edge of the bed. By now the blood should be rushing to your head and as you climax, you should experience an extraordinary sensation throughout your entire body. Don’t stay in this position too long because you may wind up seeing stars, literally, and pass out!

Cross posted with permission from the SexologistMegan Blog.

Dr. Megan Stubbs is a Grand Rapids-based Sexologist. She holds a doctor of education in Human Sexuality from San Francisco’s Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality and a degree in Biology from Grand Valley State University. She also Board Certified by the American College of Sexologists (ACS).

Dr. Megan is a firm believer that knowledge is power and that comprehensive sex education is not only valuable to budding teens, but to all of society. This Sexologist strives to break down the societal norms that sex is still a taboo subject and wants to normalize the conversation. She wants to empower everyone into taking control and respecting their sexuality.

Megan is monthly contributor to the number one night-time radio show in West Michigan, Holmes and the Freakshow on 104.5 WSNX and also appears bi-weekly on a morning talk show, Take Five & Company on WZZM 13. Follow Megan on Twitter @sexologistmegan and Facebook.

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6 Must-Try Kinds of Foreplay

As we move through the holiday season, we need to work a little harder in all the areas of our lives. So many distractions and obligations! Out of all the things you need to make time for in your busy holiday schedule, be careful not to neglect the most important matters. Like foreplay!The simplest of ways to spice up sex is elongated, quality foreplay. Don't just jump straight to cunnilingus or blowjobs, they aren't the only kinds of foreplay, as amazing as they are. GetLusty writer Brittany Meyer is here to give some simple, yet fun foreplay ideas.

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Foreplay simply means any kind of sexual activity that precedes intercourse, so why not try to make it as arousing as possible? Here are 6 kinds of foreplay you should consider experimenting with.

#1 Erogenous zones

Male and female anatomy have different sensitive zones. We all know that the pubic area is very sensitive (that’s why sex rocks) but foreplay concentrates on the rest of the body. People under estimate how sensitive the rest of their bodies are. In fact, many people can have orgasms without even having their genitals touched, if stimulated correctly. The ears are a great area to focus on because they are loaded with thousands of nerve endings. Focus on areas that don’t receive much attention: the under arms, back of the knees, sides of the body, and hips. Try lightly stimulating these areas with gentle touches, squeezes, kisses, and licks. It will feel like you are requesting permission to pleasure them.

For some help with male erogenous zones, try His 10 Erogenous Zones You Should Know.

#2 Try a toy

Sometimes a trip to a local sex shop is just what the doctor ordered! Playing with a vibrator, massager, flavored lotion, or a soy candle can be quite inspiring. One of the most amazing things I can recommend is getting a scalp massager (one of those spider-looking things) and use it on your partner.

They have a gentle touch that can thrill you with anticipation extending to all sorts of nerves. It is also wonderful because it will seem more unpredictable than what you're used to, and the chilly metal can be a wonderful feeling.

#3 Withholding

A popular sex technique is to back off when you know your partner is about to cum and rebuild the orgasm for a more intense climax. Try this same technique with foreplay; try taking it slow, so much about sex is control—try being the one in charge of the pace and just when they can’t take it anymore and they want to begin intercourse, back off and let it rebuild.

This will build on your partner’s anticipation and as soon as you decide to begin, hand over the reins and just allow them to unleash all that passion. You will not regret it.

#4 Talking dirty

There are many shades of dirty talk, from vanilla compliments to kinky, dirty, and smutty. Keeping open communication with your partner will help you know their boundaries. If you still feel uncomfortable, we recommend two approaches:

Start simple by just telling your partner what you enjoy about them. It can be, “I love when you press up against me,” to, “You know just what to do to me.” Depending on the response, gauge how far you can go and how well they respond to what you are saying. The other approach is to dive right in: Say what you have always been thinking – like, “You know how to fuck me like nobody else,” or, “I’m going to fucking make you cum all over my mouth.” Some people will love to be called a slut, and others will find that distasteful. This approach is a little more of a risk if you haven’t done any dirty talk before but can be extremely rewarding for both of you if you hit the right note.

#5 Take it longer

For those of you into psychology and experiments, this will be perfect for you! This technique can be extended over a day or even a whole week (if you so choose.) The idea of it is to drop little sensual hints over a period of time driving your partner wild. It can start with the morning being just an erotic massage before work, but be sure to not to do anything more.

When they are at work, send them a text reminding them of how excited you are for them to get home tonight or how you can’t get them off your mind. When they come home, be sure to go out of your way to touch them when you normally would not, for example; brush by them in the hallway, hug them from behind when they're preparing dinner and sway your hips with theirs, put your leg under their leg at the dinner table. Simple acts that are not necessarily sexual, will get their attention. By the time you two head to bed, their eagerness will have been building all day and they will be ready to go.


#6 Clothes (and lack thereof)  

Some people are afraid of lingerie but it could be a fantastic move for both of you! The most important thing you can do is buy something you feel comfortable wearing—a nice pair of panties with matching bra is something you can enjoy and can actually make you feel good.

Or try a sexy bodice that you love looking at yourself wearing; something that makes you feel sexy is ideal. The more comfortable you get with yourself in these clothes, the better it will be for the both of you. Another form of clothed foreplay is simply, clothed foreplay. You get completely different sensations from being touched when you have clothes on than when you do not. Try playing around with over-the-pants touching or fooling around wearing different fabrics. Sometimes a nice silk robe is a turn-on in itself. Sometimes, you don't need anything too special. Try walking around, carrying on as you normally would at home, wearing a short skirt or a revealing top. Get him/her to notice you. A sheer top with a black bra underneath, a button-down shirt, unbuttoned to show off your cleavage. Don't show too much, let his imagination take over, and don't be intentional – just walk past him a few times. When you sit, arch your back, sitting straight up, and cross your bare legs. Just tease him/her with the sight of you. Another thing you can try to do with clothes (or the lack of them) is a sexy dance. Try moving around to music; make a short routine to turn your partner on. People are turned on by sensual movement on the dance floor so why not try it in the bedroom?

Try any number of these foreplay recommendations, but I do recommend just trying one at a time to figure out what works best for you and your partner. You will probably come to find that a combination  of some is exactly what you need, but hey, have fun with it! After all, it is sex.

Brittany just moved to Chicago after finishing her degree from FSU and arrived with a thirst to learn about everything that has to do with sex. Having been involved with The F-Word, The Vagina Monologues, amateur drag and sexuality classes, she is a very sex positive lady. When she's not admiring architecture, Brittany rocks the mic at stand-up comedy clubs across Chicago. Questions or comments? Get in touch via reply@getlusty.com.

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Couples! 5 Steps to Hotter Pillow Talk

Post-Christmas dinner, you may be thinking sex is out of the question. Not true! This is the perfect time to relax and have amazing marathon sex. And what better time to bring out your erotic talking skills? As we've podcasted about before, talking dirty is a wonderful skill to use in your bedroom! Thankfully, we've got even more insight from Sexologist Dr. Carlen Costa on getting started with this useful foreplay skill.

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When was the last time you had one of those sex sessions that was just so good you had to lock it in the spank bank? Memorable sexcapades can sometimes be few and far between which is why knowing how to get the most out of it and leave a lasting impression can be a challenge. Here’s a little tip: try sprinkling in a touch of dirty talk!

For some people, spicing it up with a little dirty talk has the ability to amp up an already seriously piquant sex-perience. Whether you’re handling your hook up or heavy petting with your partner, if you can find the confidence to either whisper something naughty in their ear or growl a little some kind of sexy-wonderful you are going to definitely get your pleasure pal’s attention.

Are you feeling confused and turned on all at the same time right now? Let me help you clear that up so you can get to practicing your dirty words in a less techno sex kind of way. Take a look at my 5 key tips to how to get down & get dirty talkin’.

#1 Know your dirty talk style


The reason why dirty talk is hot is because it’s already something different that you add to your sex play. The element of surprise is essentially already on your side. If you’re new to the dirty talk world, start simple. Dirty talk isn’t about being grimy. It can be naughty, saucy, spicy, and mild between the degrees of hard vs. soft styles.

Some of us are seasoned lovers and have our sexy toolboxes ready for any occasion, while some of us would just rather not. By using language that is at your comfort level you can ease into practicing your skills. Mastering dirty talk is like knowing that you don’t jump into the pool, you put your toe in first. By showing off that you know the 7 dirtiest words to not say on TV in the first few minutes of your encounter, you can come across as fake and demeaning thereby, killing the mood. Just be you and know your limitations.

#2 It’s not what you say; it’s how you say it


Whether you’re with a one night hook-up or your perma bed buddy, introducing dirty talk to your own sex files can be intimidating. With one night stands, it may be perceived that you have less to lose (other than your dignity). Some of my male friends informed me that a lot of “younger guys” get in there and do their thing and forget about what the other person wants.

They jump in for a show rather than an experience. Don’t get me wrong, everyone likes to mix it up and have a good time, but whether you’re feeling over confident or not at all, when it comes to dirty talk it’s all in the delivery. The tone of your voice, the speed of your words and your overall confidence can make all the difference. Sex can be weird, uncomfortable and awkward at times, but that’s not necessarily a bad thing. Showing that you can be real or really seductive is all in the delivery.

#3 No need to start off on the deep end


Great sex artists are masters of every sexy aspect from fashion to fellatio. But that doesn’t mean that you have to be. If dirty talk just doesn’t feel natural, don’t sweat it! Here’s the thing. As we grow, so do our desires. We evolve and crave change.

Being able to change it up in the bedroom is what keeps many of us feeling alive. But there’s no need to feel like you’re bringing a knife to a gun fight. The best way to impress someone between the sheets is just by being you and having a great time. If you’re lucky enough to get hot and heavy with a special someone I would focus more on providing them with ultimate physical pleasure than not-quite-thought-out dirty talk. Knowing you and your partners limits can ease any pressure from preconceived expectations. It’s all about having a great time with the other person and feeling pleasure… really, it’s that simple.

#4 Start small and work your way up

People often think that dirty talk has to be downright filthy to make an impression. Fortunately, it is au contraire. The moment feels right, things are getting hot and both of you are thrilled in embrace. If you’re feeling an urge to say something, then say what feels natural. Not what you saw in a porno, unless it legitimately turns you on. This isn’t an episode of “sexing with the stars,” and America is not voting based on your saucy talk skills.

Trying to be extreme just for the sake of it instead of sex playing based on the actual mood can kill the whole experience. If you want to amp it up a bit start with the small steps and see how your partner reacts. Try talking to them first and be sure to start where your comfort level is at or else it comes off as trying too hard (or too intense). It’s about being in sync with your partner and discovering the elements to elevating your sexual capacity together. Trying new things can be really fun, no matter who you’re playing with; just be sure you’re being real and not putting on a late night special.

#5 The pre-game: dirty talking in a digital age

Let’s face it. Social media and smart phones are the new norms of today. This means our methods of communication have expanded leaving quite a bit of room for our naughty natures to come to full bloom. Sexting, which is sending explicit messages to someone through a device such as a cell phone or online, is increasing in prevalence.

Sexting can also be used as a part of foreplay to ignite feelings of anticipation and raise the heat levels! Just remember to sext responsibly. Just because you can’t see the person doesn’t give you free reign to go to nasty town and lay out all your pervy desires. Be respectful of the person you’re talking to and recognize the limits. Remembering that once it’s out there texts, personal messages, instant messages or otherwise are digital and may come back to haunt you in the future… including those pics of your tasty bits. So be smart about how and to whom you’re exercising your digital love.

Cross posted with permission from Dr. Carlen's Sexy Living Tumblr.

Speaking of talking dirty, have you 'Liked' GetLusty on Facebook yet? We're giving away a Tiani 2 to a lucky 'Liker'. We're also on Pinterest and Tumblr, as well as Twitter @getlusty. What?! You're on those platforms and aren't in tune with our awesome content? Have amazing sex. Get lusty.

Dr. Carlen Costa is pretty awesome. A resident of London, Ontario in Canada, she's making waves in London and beyond.

As a Sexologist, "Sexy Living with Dr. Carlen" is the creation of a safe space in order to discuss concerns, desires or general questions in regards to your relationship with your partner, yourself, and others. Send me questions, send me your thoughts! Through this we will cater to all orientations, genders and age groups. We are all Sexy beings, and should feel as such in our own skins. Find Dr. Carlen on Twitter @DrCarlen and 'Like' her Facebook page.

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Erotic Orgasm Denial 101

Erotic orgasm denial is supremely hot. Though we've just been introduced to this idea, it already sounds fabulous. And it's the weekend, what better time to try new things sexually? On top of that, we just love articles by Portia Blush. Without adieu, Portia Blush, our master of female domination, is here to talk about erotic orgasm denial.

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You've heard that old adage, "Tis' better to give than to receive", right? Orgasm has long been the goalpost that most of us look forward to reaching during our sexual escapades, so much so that sometimes we lose sight of enjoying ourselves in the pleasure of the moment. When sex is goal-oriented and we become fixated in whether or not we're going to climax, it can actually lessen our pleasure, rather than heighten it. This anxiety over whether or not one is going to climax or not, or how long it's taking to reach that point, can actually inhibit the very thing we crave. But what if we took the goal away? What if suddenly there was no finish line?

What is erotic denial?

Erotic orgasm denial, or sometimes called "tease and denial" play, takes away the goal of orgasm, and helps your partner not only focus on the pleasure they are giving, but also heightens the pleasure they are receiving.

Orgasm Denial is the practice of withholding and/or denying orgasm during sexual activity in order to maintain a heightened state of arousal for an extended time. Within a D/s (dominant/submissive) bond in a BD/SM relationship, it is also used as a method of, or reinforcement of, control. For it to be most effective, a degree of familiarity with your partner is paramount; knowing the subtle (and not so subtle) cues of their stages of arousal will be needed for you to learn where their orgasmic edge lies. Intimate knowledge of your partner's sexual response will help you to know how, where, and when to vary the intensity and timing of the stimulation accurately. The amount of time orgasm is withheld varies upon many factors, just as the reasons for doing so, and can range from hours, to days, or even months! Although the word "denial" may sound controlling, please know that this type of play is consensual, and not forced. Both partners are willing and hopefully eager, participants.

The numerous degrees of orgasm denial

Orgasm Denial can include several different degrees of play. "Edging", or "tease and denial", is when you stimulate your partner almost to the point of orgasm, but then reduce or stop the stimulation just prior to climax, only to then work up to that point again, and repeat the process. This style can be done in short or long-term scenarios, as decided by between lovers. Enforced Chastity is another form of orgasm denial in which orgasm is not only controlled and denied, but other sexual stimulation as well. It can also include masturbation, in addition to partner sexual exchange. This can be done through just verbal command and acceptance, or through more extreme measures by using chastity enforcement devices.

The joys of Orgasm Denial can be experienced within the context of a D/s relationship in BD/SM play, or it can be shared between two partners who just want to enjoy experimenting with new forms of erotic sexual play. No matter what your relationship style the benefits are the same; sustained, intensified pleasure. Also, orgasm control can be shared between couples of varying gender configurations. Please know that I am writing this article from the viewpoint of a woman with primarily male lovers, so I am referring mostly here to male orgasm denial, though the characteristics of female orgasm denial are extensively similar.

Top 5 Reasons to Try Orgasm Denial

#1 Heightened Sensations

While one might think of denying orgasm as incredibly limiting to pleasure, it's actually the opposite. By withholding orgasm you force your partner to remain in a place of sustained arousal, and that arousal continues to build upon itself, instead of decreasing through the release of orgasm. When you don't allow your partner to fall over that climactic edge, the erotic energy magnifies, making even the subtlest of stimulation that much more intense than before. Your partner will experience your touch at a whole new level. Suddenly the person being denied the orgasm will rediscover kisses, touches, and other pleasures that had become routine.

#2 The Big "O" Just Got Bigger

When you deny your partner an orgasm by continually bringing them to the precipice of their edge, but never allowing them to fall over, you increase their ability to sustain that state of arousal for longer and longer periods of time. This allows the person being denied the orgasm to experience that heightened pleasure for longer periods of time, but also now is able to focus intently on the pleasure in the moment, without the pressure of progressing towards climax. After remaining in this tide of the ebb and flow of this state of intensified arousal, when they are allowed to come, the orgasmic pleasures experienced will be intensified above and beyond those felt during a typical sexual experience. Some people say that even their most pleasurable peaks were no comparison to those reached after being denied orgasm for periods of time.

#3 Increased Sexual Frequency 

Heightened sensations mean heightened enjoyment, and the longer you remain in that heightened state of arousal, the more often you want to be experiencing sexual sensations. The person is stimulated that much easier, as they are almost in a constant state of arousal because they have yet to complete the arousal cycle through orgasmic release. It can become almost a constant state of desire. And what does this mean for you? More sex! They will want to have sex more often, and you get the reap the benefits!

#4 Rediscovery of Your Partner  

Ladies, restricting his orgasms, and exercising control over whether or not he has one, and when , will have him focussed on pleasing you! When his orgasm is restricted, your lover will become more tuned in to you, and will learn how to put your pleasures before their own. It will help him relearn the exquisite pleasure of a lingering deep kiss, or a soft caress, as they no longer are markers along the way to orgasm, but now the main course to savor. Orgasm Denial teaches your partner how to derive pleasure from pleasing his partner; you!

#5 The Joy of Surrender  

Power Exchange can be incredibly erotic in itself, so what better way to enhance your intimacy then by surrendering the control of your most intimate, personal acts; orgasms. It can be highly arousing to give yourself over to another this way, and allow yourself to experience how freeing giving up control can be. When we are expected to be in charge of so much in life, surrendering the responsibility to your lover to take care of you can be not only a relief, but intoxicatingly powerful.

It's always exciting to try new experiences together, especially in the bedroom. Orgasm Denial may be that next new thing on your horizon to bring you closer together! While I understand it may not be everyone's erotic cup of tea, I encourage you to have an open mind, and consider that Orgasm Denial play may have something to offer you and your lover. As always, play safe, and most of all, have fun my fellow sexplorers!

Seeking to shatter the myth that "nice girls don't talk about sex", and somehow trying to survive her mid-30's in suburbia without large doses of vodka, Portia Blush is a saucy Sapiosexual who shares with an infectious wit and a candid vulnerability about her explorations of sex, love, intimacy, kink, the occasional obsession, and everything in between; one true story at a time.

She has over 10 years experience playing Switchy in the BD/SM scene, and has explored a myriad of relationship configurations from monogamous to poly. She holds a BFA from some hoity-toity NYC art school, and still ponders the meaning of life on a regular basis. Follow her on Twitter @erogenousblog and Facebook and of course, ErogenoUS her blog.

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