At Get Lusty for Couples, we care about all couples and that's why we wanted to bring up the topic of couples with children. We know it can be a tough process to try and raise a family and keep a spicy love life going. However, it is possible and can even change and grow your love life in unexpected ways! A pat on the back to all the parents out there, but don't forget to spread the love with your significant other every chance you get. Eileen Prouffe, a loving wife and mom of three, will talk about the good and the bad of how to keep a lusty relationship going as parents.
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It's no secret that it can be hard to maintain and nurture a happy and healthy sex life, but add children to the mix and things can get even harder. So below are ten ways sex changes after having children--the good, the bad, and even ways you can get better! Read on.
#1 Finding a place to "do it"
It's hard to be intimate when children are around all the time, but don't be afraid to show love in front of them. It's healthy for children to see their parents happy and in love. If you really are in the mood to get down and dirty then move the kids bedtime a little earlier so you can have more time alone. Don't forget; a happy couple equals a happy family.
#2 Having energy to "do it"
Sometimes when couples are juggling so much like work, household chores, bills, etc. Having enough energy to perform more physical movements can be difficult, but not impossible. Try to make sure you are both getting enough rest every day and also try turning off the t.v. earlier so you can enjoy each other instead of other people. Give that person by your side most of your attention; they deserve it and so do you.
#3 Negative body image
Pregnancy, stress and weight gain can lead couples to feel less sexy about their bodies which may cause each other to feel a little embarrassed about getting naked and having a passionate moment. There are two solutions to this problem, and one of them is to get over it (get naked and feel good about it) and just have a good time. It is Naked November after all. More often than not, your partner is not obsessing over your imperfections. If they love you, then they will accept you for who are and who you have become. Secondly, if body image really is an issue or your partner could lose a few pounds for health reasons, then get your groove on in the bedroom and burn some calories together.
#4 Time factors
Some couples really do want to spend more time together, but really aren't able to due to conflicting work schedules, school or extra curricular activities. This is where couples need to decide what is most important. Some couples look for new jobs with better work hours so they can have time for their loved ones, but that's not always an option. Sometimes it's better for a partner to drop one or two of their activities, or at least invite their partner to join them. This way, they can have a romantic time while doing it. For example, some couples may play a sport together like basketball and they make the effort to fondle each other during the game. Dating your significant other is essential and definitely improves your relationship.
#5 Loss of interest
Over time, couples can lose interest in each other and get tired of the same old routine. This is why if couples want to keep their love alive, they need to make the effort! Relationships and love lives take time and commitment and each of you need to be willing to give a little. Even food can get boring and bland, but if you add a little spice or different flavorings, then it can make a huge difference. Don't do the same thing every time. Blow job today, doggy-style tomorrow.
It's not all doom and gloom when couples have kids in fact, it can bring them together even more.
#6 Take a break
It's not a bad thing to take a break from your children. After all, it might help everyone if mom and dad are happy. To add a little more excitement, get a baby sitter and take a getaway. Check out living social for a weekend getaway that's close by or even sign up for their getaway deals. Places don't need to be fancy to spark up the love. A relaxing and private place will work.
#7 Bigger bond
Sometimes people are less open when they are a newer couple or haven't been through many experiences, but having a child and going through it all can cause many couples to open up even more. Women's breast enlarge and that can be a huge turn on for some men and sometimes the love increases because having a child can be a bonding experience. We all feel closer to people when we've been through exciting or memorable experiences with them. Use this bond to improve your sexual relationship!
#8 Opposite effect
While some people may have a dwindling sex life after kids, others may be fully aware of what could happen to their sex life and actually become the opposite. They may realize that it's possible for their partner to become uninterested or bored so, some people begin to whip out the lingerie or the partner starts investing in sexier clothing for their significant other, sex toys or (well-done) porn and the sparks just start flying. Don't be afraid to go for it.
The more a person gets to know another person the more they might feel comfortable, and if they see their partner is not comfortable they might offer a massage to get that person into the right state of mind. Knowing what another person needs is an important way to help them get into the state of mind they need to be in order to want to have sex. Draw up a relaxing bath with candles and wine or make dinner to take a load off the other person. Sometimes it's the little things that matter. People who have been together for a while usually get this and if they don't, now they can.
#10 Get creative
Let's face it; it's not always easy to have an awesome sex life with children in the house. So some couples have to just get creative and "do it" in the bathroom and lock the door (we have 13 ideas for spots in your apartment to have sex, too!). While this may seem goofy and uncomfortable, it can be pretty amazing having a mirror available or even a shower to jump into together. However it works out doesn't really matter as long as it does work and everyone is happy and satisfied.
Everyone will not have a perfect sex life, but everyone can have a better one. If you're willing to invest a little time to do so, it can improve. Children don't have to pull the plug on your love life and you shouldn't let it. Take action and find the time to take care of business.