Why Your Sex Fantasies Are Beneficial

Did you know we had an entire month dedicated to the 50 Shades? We heard frequently how negative the story was to BDSM. But can we use our sexual fantasies to improve our sex lives? Fantasies, BDSM and fetishes can and should be beneficial for couples. This is a guest post by our Moushumi Ghose, the LA Sex Therapist, explains more about how sexual fantasies can actually make a positive impact on your relationship--rather than the opposite.

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Understanding our sexual fantasies may be important in getting our needs met. Much like our dreams, our sexual fantasies are the windows to our souls.

We usually think fantasies are bad

In many ways, we have been conditioned and trained to fear, or be ashamed our sexual fantasies, as maybe we are somewhat afraid, or ashamed about our own sexualities.

We’re embarrassed of our desires. Due to lack of education, and lack of exposure in talking about sexual fantasies we keep them hidden, quiet, shut off from the world, and to ourselves. But being in tune and comfortable with our fantasies can be a great avenue to understanding our needs, and desires when it comes to sexuality and then to be able to express our sexual needs in the bedroom to our partner/s.

Why great communication is essential in fantasies

The art of communication is also key, as well as the fact that we do not have to admit to our partners what it is, or the specific details of what we fantasize about. But rather if we understand the root of our fantasies, we are better able to communicate it. I believe that there is a continuum of dominance and submission, that everyone falls on, (not just the people who have embraced this lifestyle). Knowing yourself, where you fall on this continuum and in what situations, becomes key in understanding your demeanor in sexual situations and becomes key getting your needs met.

Rape fantasies

One example, is the rape fantasy. Women would be hard pressed to admit they have a rape fantasy. But, in actuality rape fantasies are not only really common, they have little to do with actual rape. Women with rape fantasies do not want to be raped, but rather they have a fantasy or desire to be able to surrender, to put someone else in charge of their sexual pleasure, in complete trust.

This person is someone they trust who will not hurt them. The rape fantasy signifies surrender. It’s not about power nor is it about control. If more people knew this, then maybe more women would be able to let their partners in on their little secret, without a fear of backlash. Yet, many a men would think less of their prized lady if he knew she had a rape fantasy, and this prevents women from being open about it.

Domination v. Submission

On one end of the continuum is dominance and on the other end is submission. In much the same way there is another continuum of voyeurism at one end and exhibitionism on the other end.

This is possibly a different and maybe slightly less important continuum, but if it comes up in your fantasies, it’s important.

I tell people in sex therapy who want better sex, who want to orgasm, who want to become more aroused, who want to be able to tell their partners how to meet their needs that: You must first know yourself, and be honest.

In much the same way, because of social stigma, many men may feel embarrassed to admit they like to be dominated in their fantasies. When in fact this is also very common.

Men are often expected to be the dominant ones, and being submissive goes against the grain. This is why it is not necessary to disclose specific details. But knowing the fantasy and admitting it to yourself can open up a door towards understanding your drives.

How understanding our sexual fantasies may be important in getting our needs met. Understanding where our fantasies come from is not necessary unless you want to know more about what it is that actually is driving you. Why are some people more dominant and others more submissive? Why do some like to watch, where as others like to perform, or be watched?

Where it likely comes from

I believe it has to do with our upbringing and conditioning in childhood. During our formative years, about ages 5-12 we internalize a lot of messages from our primary caregiver. If our primary caregiver is over protective, for example, we may develop a fetish to be more of the submissive, even humiliated type. Sometimes a specific event during puberty may also condition us towards certain stimuli.

Fantasies should be appreciated 

All in all, it seems to me that our fantasies represent something in us that we either wish to work out and gain mastery over, or something that balances out our lives. Therefore, our fantasies are not to be ashamed of, but rather to be appreciated. Thus, our fantasies help us. Once you recognize this and allow yourself to admit to yourself your true desires, can you then start to slowly let your partner in on how he/she can contribute to making your sex lives more fun and fulfilling.

This is a guest post from the well acclaimed Moushumi Ghose.

Moushumi Ghose is a Sex Therapist, Educator and Coach, Radio Host, Musician, and Filmmaker. She is licensed by the California Board of Behavioral Science. She is a member of AASECT (American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors and Therapists). Mou also has extensive experience working with a variety of populations and diverse lifestyles.

Moushumi recently completed an eBook on, "Marriage, Money and Porn." and writes extensively for numerous other sites ranging from Men's Fitness Magazine to GoodTherapy.org. Find her on Twitter @motor_amour, Facebook and her website LASexTherapist.com.

Don't forget to comment below! Have a question about fantasies or our Shades of Grey content month? Send them over to reply@getlusty.com and we'll get them answered!

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Leather Archives & Museum: Why It's a Must See

There's nothing sexier than the feel of real leather against your skin. Unless you're PETA. And even then--there's at least a quizzical fascination. As for BDSM, who doesn't get giddy at the idea of their partner lovingly pushing their sexual buttons? GetLusty for Couples is simply ecstatic to be based in Chicago, with its rich and interesting past in the leather community. So let's take a look at the museum dedicated to the legacy of leather.

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Curious about kink? The Leather Archives and Museum, located in Rogers Park at 6418 N. Greenview Ave in Chicago, is more than just a room full of tanned hides. It is the continuing efforts by the leather lifestyle community to preserve and exhibit their history and culture for future generations. A virgin visitor might walk through the doors out of mild curiosity about the leather collection. LA&M offers an historical depth for the the visitor and removes it from the realm of the curious, planting it firmly in the realm of the scholarly.

The 10,000 sq ft (930 m2), two-story building houses:

• Eight exhibition galleries; 
• A 1,425 sq ft (132.4 m2) climate controlled archival storage space; 
• A 164 seat auditorium; 
• A 600 sq ft (56 m2) reading library to house the research collections; 
• Various other spaces which serve as working space for staff, volunteers and researchers. 

Collections

They have an extensive collection of historically-significant leathers, including a variety of hats and boots. There is also an ever-growing collection of patches from fetish clubs from around the world.

Despite the name, the collections at LA&M encompass much more than physical leather. The Teri Rose Memorial Library contains over 17,000 books and magazines. Additionally, there are extensive collections of fetish magazines, periodicals (one of their largest collections), as well as visual media such as photographs and film (some of which were previously unpublished, homemade documentaries of people’s lives or events). LA&M is also in the process of documenting the oral history of important people, places, and things in the Leather community.

Exhibits

The exhibit rooms showcase central aspects of alternative cultures as well as some of the important personages. You don't want to miss the stainless-steel, custom-made, male chastity device in The Dungeon Exhibit, or the vast collection of BDSM audio and video collection in The Leather Sins Screening Room.

The Leather Bar exhibit is, as one might imagine, devoted to leather bars, one of the early meeting places for the Leather community. Rather than a simple display, the room is modeled on an actual bar, and features Randy, a mannequin always ready to share a drink. It contains a plethora of memorabilia from famous bars.

There is also a room for the women: A Room of Her Own is an installation for the Women’s Leather History Project. Fakir Musafar (pictured to the left) receives considerable space. Several of his photographs are featured alongside memorabilia from his career.

The Etienne auditorium houses actual seats from the historic Paradise Theatre which opened in 1928, and was demolished in 1956. When one of the original Chicago leather bars closed down, the owners were forced to remove the original artwork from the walls. After finding its new home, Gold Coast owners re-painted their murals on panels, in case they had to move again. They moved locations 4 more times. Now the artwork is proudly displayed in the Etienne auditorium.

The museum accommodates to guest artists with a guest gallery (lovingly named G.A.G); a contemporary fetish gallery. Works by renowned and emerging artists are periodically displayed all year long. In addition to being used for LA&M’s film series, Pantheon of Leather Awards (now staged in Atlanta for 2012), and demonstrations, the 146 seat auditorium is available for a variety of events.

The Leather Archives and Museum is an extensive effort to preserve the cultures of Leather, Fetishism, Sadomasochism, and other alternative sexual practices. It's not just a museum, though, Lusties. The archives host a number of events, advocating for kink in our communities. Throughout the year they have jumble sales, auctions, art exhibitions, film festivals, and parties.

Simply put: the Leather Archives & Museum is a must visit!

The Leather Archives and Museum's hours: Thursday 11AM -7PM. Friday 11AM - 7pm. Saturday 11AM - 5PM. Sunday 11AM - 5PM. Don’t arrive too late; the last admission is 30 minutes before closing.

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The Foot Fetish: What Is It, Anyway?

Feet. Sometimes they're a little... Well, they're gross. But imagine when they're clean, well manicured and getting sucked on? That's a wonderful feeling. We've talked before about the history of the foot fetish. And it could be an erotic addition to your next foreplay session. Foot fetishism is more common that one may think. Many celebrities have admitted to loving feet! C'mon. Who wouldn't want a foot massage every night before bed? GetLusty's Raven Skye reports on how common foot fetish really is. Also, what is this beloved fetish all about, anyway?

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Definition of foot fetish

Foot fetishism, foot partialism, foot worship, or podophilia is a pronounced sexual interest in feet. The clinical term for foot fetish is podophilia. It is defined as an intense sexual interest in feet and can be as extreme as inability to be aroused without seeing or touching feet. Although popular with both sexes, 70% of foot fetishists are men. The kinds of practices that go along with this fetish are toe sucking and licking, massaging, foot jobs, and even foot-intercourse (anally or vaginally).

Most popular fetish

The foot fetish is the most popular sexual fetish. Maybe it helps that women love shoes? If you or your partner have a foot fetish, you are definitely not alone. There are even many well known celebrities with a foot fetish. Some famous feet lovers are Marilyn Manson, Quentin Tarantino, Andy Warhol, Brooke Burke, and Elvis Presley!

'Baywatch'-famed actress and home-made porn star Pamela Anderson calls feet the “sexiest part of a woman’s body,” while Playboy model (and mother) Brooke Burke relates, "Toe sucking is just so good." Other celebrities who endorse foot fetishism are Enrique Iglesias and Ludacris (StudentLife.com). So, you are not alone and you don't need to feel like you're a freak or ashamed for getting aroused by feet.

Exploring your foot fetish 

First, check with your partner (check out our sexual negotiation article for more). Ensure that this is something they might be interested in exploring. It's easy to start having some foot fun with your partner. You can start by making sure your feet are clean. If you're a woman maybe paint those toenails and moisturize your feet with lotion every night before bed. Men should keep their feet looking nice, too.

Some easy starter questions you might ask your partner are: Do you think my feet are pretty? Have you ever thought about licking my toes? Can I use my foot to (insert sex act here)? This will get the dialogue started and you might be surprised by your partner's enthusiasm. If they are into it, just have fun with it. Lick your partner's toes as foreplay, or just for fun. Ask for a foot massage from your partner and add some lotion or baby oil. Maybe you can use the arches of your feet to stroke your man's penis. Do what feels right for you.

Feet are definitely becoming more incorporated into the bedroom these days. They can be very sexy and add a little spice to your sex life. Everyone from your next door neighbor to A-list celebrities are having fun with feet. Give foot love a try, if you've considered it in the past. Along these lines, we'll have a foot fetish 101 article coming up soon on recommendations for trying this enjoyable past time!

Speaking of fetishes, have you 'Liked' GetLusty on Facebook yet? We're giving away a Tiani 2 to a lucky 'Liker' by December 1st. We're also on Pinterest and Tumblr, as well as Twitter @getlusty. What?! You're on those platforms and aren't in tune with our awesome content? Have amazing sex. Get lusty.

This a guest post by our resident sex lover Raven Skye. She's a 27 year-old, redheaded, adult model, cam girl, blogger, student and writer with glasses. Raven adores learning about and exploring new fetishes and sexual concepts. She has a BS in Psychology and has been working in the adult industry in many aspects for over 3 years. She loves writing and I cannot wait to share her kinky knowledge with you! Follow her on Twitter @raven69skye.

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The History of Foot Fetishism

It seems that people really love feet. It's considered the most common fetish, not only in fantasy, but also in practice. This creates many questions, such as where did it come from? How long has it been around? A cross-cultural historical study shows that this fetish is nothing new. GetLusty staff writer and history lover Matt Stickles takes a look back into history to explore our love of feet.

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Foot fetish is huge! It's everywhere... and always has been, it seems. The fetish can be traced back as far as the ancient Greeks, and it shows up all over the place from then till now. Its popularity isn't really that difficult to understand.

Most of us love having our feet rubbed and pampered, so if someone wants nothing more than to worship your feet, then hell yeah. Go to town. Studies have shown that foot fetishes are the most commonly pursued fetish throughout the world.

Many celebrities and famous figures have come out of the closet, such as F. Scott Fitzgerald, Thomas Hardy, Jay Leno, and even the great Casanova himself. However, just as any other fetish, it's considered to be taboo and weird. If it's so common, then why do we think it's so abnormal? What ever your opinion, the love for feet is nothing new.

The Greeks

The ancient Greeks had no problem expressing their love of feet. In fact, the basic unit of measurement we still use today, the “foot,” is commonly thought to have come from what they considered to be the length of a Goddess's foot. Goddesses drew powers and strength from their feet, in which their second toe was thought to have provided their male powers. Though feet were a source of power for Goddesses, they were still considered a private part of the female anatomy as Greek art depicts virgin Goddesses with their feet covered.

Now back in these days a woman was free to walk around with her breasts exposed, but if she revealed her foot, it was thought of as a blatant sexual advance.

In the Mediterranean

Around the 1st century, feet were still pretty important to cultures around the Mediterranean, and not just in Greece. Washing someone's feet was a huge sign of respect and admiration. Though it is not nearly as sexy as the Greeks' depiction of Goddesses, many accounts of the life of Jesus Christ reference foot washing. Also, washing the feet of house guests and strangers is still a common practice today in many Mediterranean cultures.

Western Europeans, STDs & feet 

Similar to the Greeks, religion was influential on what a woman's sexy foot was supposed to look like. The attractiveness of a woman's foot was based on the Christian belief that all physical characteristics were to be God-like. The poetry of the time reflects that the ideal female foot was white, narrow with high arches and long straight toes. Toe nails were supposed to be long with large white moons on pink pale nail beds.

Back when crusaders were returning from the Holy Land, an array of STDs came back with them. An increase in the amount of foot fetish material is seen during outbreaks of gonorrhea and syphilis.

More recently, evidence shows that there was an increase in foot fetishism during the AIDS epidemic of the early 1990s. In fact, according to one study of 8 pornographic magazines, pictures of bare feet increased explosively. This is not enough information to draw any real conclusions, but it does hint that when penetration is coupled with fear, people seem to be drawn to their feet to fulfill their sexual desires.

The Far East

No nation past or present can compare to the Chinese in their historical love affair with feet. Beginning with the Sung Dynasty, in the 10th century, young girls had their feet bound in order to preserve their daintiness. The Japanese also had their own cultural practice surrounding feet, in which a child of royalty would be carried up to the age of eight or ten as their feet were believed to be too pure to touch the Earth. According to extensive BBC research, "The bound foot was also a symbol of identity and virtue. A bound foot signified that a woman had achieved womanhood, and served as a mark of her gendered identity. The Neo-Confucian thinker Zhu Xi (1130-1200 AD) promoted foot binding in southern Fujian in an attempt to instill in the natives a sense of propriety and chastity." Chasity, indeed!

Feet have long been of cultural importance, whether it was erotic and sexy, or a sign of respect. Soon, we'll be talking more about getting lusty and we'll have more on exactly what is foot fetishism. For now, stay lusty!

Our newest writer is a history, sex and love... lover, Matt Stickles.

Matt is a recent grad from the University of Kansas with Bachelor's degrees in History and Anthropology. Matt currently lives just outside of Chicago. When Matt is not writing and reading articles on GetLusty for Couples, you can catch him getting drinks with friends, reading science fiction, watching the Jayhawks dominate college basketball, or hanging out with Hannah, his Bernese Mountain dog. Have questions, comments or concerns? E-mail him at matt@getlusty.com.

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3 Ways Too Much Porn Could Be Killing Your Erection

We love porn. But could porn effect men differently than women? What are the implications for watching porn? Could porn have an influence on your sex drive or erection? Have your triggers become so extreme and so far removed from actual real-life sex that you are having trouble actually having sex? We've heard this several times from our readers that porn has had a big impact on their sex life. If it's having a negative impact, could you turn that around?

Erectile dysfunction and loss of desire are often blamed entirely on physical problems, with thanks in large part to propaganda specialists (ie drug companies). Rarely do we investigate psychological causes. Often guys are simply too freaked or stressed to get erect and they have physically nothing wrong. GetLusty for Couples's Jason Estrada proposes a theory that might be so obvious and logical that it eludes consideration. Gents, could you be watching too much porn?

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Guys, we all know what erectile dysfunction (ED) is? We’ve all read the articles and seen the hundreds of advertisements for little blue pills. If you suffer from this affliction, you might have went straight to the Viagra website before seeing a doctor. I’m guessing most men with ED didn’t even consider seeing a therapist. Here’s one more thing I’m betting most of you haven’t considered; too much porn.

#1 Extreme-itization

Erectile dysfunction affects more than just retired old men with silver hair - it affects men of all ages. Even young, healthy twenty-somethings have trouble getting it up these days. Think about what porn is today. It gets hotter, nastier, and more extreme every day.

When you look at an old Playboy, can you honestly say that it still turns you on? Of course it doesn’t. Not when there’s readily available hardcore porn on the Internet. And the stuff on the internet isn’t an elegantly airbrushed model in some tasteful pose kind of porn. The porn we watch today has raised our tolerance for the erotic.

Once your computer turns off, you walk away with these new extreme fetishes floating around in your imagination. Your partner comes home and they’re ready for some sexy fun, but there’s a problem. The idea of normal, real-life sex just isn’t doing it for you. She isn’t that porn star, draped in latex and gagging on a red rubber ball. How can you go back to that old fashion sex after experiencing such extreme stimulus? Doggie style and missionary position don't seem as exciting as they used to. So regular sex doesn’t do it for you anymore. Getting turned on has become harder than ever. Excuse the pun.

#2 Lowers your self-esteem

Lets say you don’t like that fetish porn. Maybe you’re fine with watching one person fucking another. No bondage or fisting for you, but you still can’t get excited for real-life sex. Well, raising one’s tolerance beyond a realistic level isn’t the only negative symptom of porn.

You’re watching completely average porn. We’ll say, one guy – one girl. All they’re doing is fucking. There’s nothing out of the ordinary realm of real-life sex except for one thing. All male porn stars are sex gods! First of all, they can fuck for hours (it seems). Most of us are proud as hell if we make it to 30 minutes. Especially after we enter our 30s and 40s. The second issue is this sex god on our computer screen has this monster of a dick, 12 inches long and 4 inches wide. By now I’m sure we’ve all realized men’s obsession with penis size. For some, our penis size determines our amount of confidence, and has a dramatic effect on our personality. You know that part in movies where the man pulls out a gigantic gun and the woman says something about him over-compensating for his small penis?


Just like in all other mainstream media outlets, porn has perverted our perspective of reality. We can never live up to porn’s standard of “real” manliness.

#3 Fear

Have you ever paid attention to the advertisements on porn websites and magazines? They are filled with ED medication, penis enlargement and “how To fuck a girl" ads. An extremely important fact to remember is that ED pills are developed for older men whose problems stem from aging and blocked blood vessels in the penis. They are not for gents with self-esteem issues, and they definitely not for “sport fucking”. Also important, is that these advertisers are feeding off our fear of impotence. Fear is where impotence starts – fear that you can’t perform like that porn star, fear that your partner won’t scream and holler like the girl in the porn.

How can we survive without porn?

I’m not telling you to stop watching porn, but maybe switch to different genres. Find some porn sites that don’t flood you with unrealistic fantasies. That beautiful woman/man who sleeps next to you every night – that person should be your fantasy. If you can’t experience it with her/him, then don’t experience it with some porn stars on your computer.

Jason Estrada is currently working on his master's for creative writing, in the hopes of becoming a very rich screenwriter some day. His other interests include photography, cinematography, and video editing. His favorite book is The Great Gatsby. Favorite movie is either The Crow or When Harry Met Sally - can't decide. And his all time favorite show is Doctor Who.

When he's not enjoying any of those things, you can find him at home, drinking and smoking way too much while listening to VNV Nation. Connect with him via email at jason@getlusty.com or subscribe via Facebook.

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Feel at Home at Tulip Toy Gallery

This article is by GetLusty for Couples contributing writer Greg Dorn. Greg writes primarily about business and events around the Chicago area to keep couple's sex lives, fresh, fun and stimulating. With a girlfriend of over 2 years, Greg has visited a plethora of sex toy shops to keep his own sex life exhilarating and electrifying. After visiting Tulip Toy Gallery, he thinks you will too. There are two Tulip Galleries, but this one focused on Tulip in Andersonville.

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The minute you step inside Tulip Toy Gallery, you immediately know you're in the quirky and hip Andersonville neighborhood. Located at 1480 W Berwyn Ave directly off the Berwyn Red Line stop, it's a hop, skip and jump away from virtually anywhere in the city.

The shop is small, yet packs a big punch. The selection of erotic goodies and sexy outfits will keep you there much longer than you probably had expected.

Like the area itself, the shop's selling point is it's warm and welcoming environment. Known primarily as a must-visit destination for the surrounding lesbian community, the friendly staff will keep you engaged for hours. You come for the items, you stay for the conversation. The knowledgeable staff offers a non-judgmental environment, as conversation, chitchat and laughter fill this tiny gem. Shy shoppers be aware, the staff will joyfully talk your ear off (and offer you ways to nibble on them).

Oh yea, and they have anything you can possibly want for an erotic evening reserved only for your wildest fantasies (believe me, this place will help make them a reality). The sex toys for both men and women are plentiful.

This north side Chicago joint even lets you try items out of the box so you know exactly what you're getting yourself into (or into you). The toys aren't the only items lining the walls of this eye-catching gallery. You'll find a terrific selection of books and erotic movies for all interests. Come alone, come with a friend or a whole group. With the hands-on experience, you may never leave!

In Chicago? Sign up to our Beta! Not sure? Read our top 10 reasons why you should sign up.

This is a guest post by Greg Dorn. 

Greg is a self-employed day trader who loves writing. He aims to think about sex whenever possible, including a variety of ways to enhance his own love life. If you don't see Greg crunching numbers, you'll find him enjoying the beauty of his wonderful girlfriend around Chicago. Want to give recommendations of businesses, products or sexy events around Chicago you'd like covered? E-mail Greg with your ideas to editorial@getlusty.com.

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Lee Harrington on Relationships, Sex & Sexuality

Lee Harrington is a prolific writer, speaker, author, artist and BDSM expert and overall, an internationally renowned traveling sex educator. We followed Lee through the social media grapevine and of course we had to pry.

Why did you become a sex educator? What have you learned that you can share with us? He dished. And then some. Check out some of what we chatted about. Lee is a character and has some really interesting perspectives on sexuality.

What we talked about:

• Why Lee's experience in the adult film industry led to work as a sexual educator and prolific writer (of 20+ books)
• Where the inspiration for Lee's books comes from? Many sources, including the evolution and understanding of his own sexuality!
• Why being transparent about his own journey, has led many participants, readers and observers open up about their own evolutions and struggles.
• What are some of the prevalent relationship struggles Lee sees with the couples he works with? One struggle, he says, is when people have certain sex and relationship expectations based on cultural myths. Why? There's shame from deviating away from these cultural expectations.
• Having problems (sexual or emotional) in your relationship? Lee recommends couples choose a safe space, outside of the bedroom, as a neutral ground where they can share their feelings with each other and discuss deep-seeded issues.
• What is Lee looking forward to? He's doing a "whistle stop tour" across multiple cities with classes and workshops on alternative lifestyle and kink communities. More than anything, he's excited about seeing where the adventure takes him.                                                                     

More about Lee:
Lee Harrington is an internationally known spiritual and erotic educator, gender explorer, eclectic artist and award-winning author and editor on human sexuality and sacred experience. He is a nice guy with a disarmingly down to earth approach to the fact that we are each beautifully complex ecosystems, and we deserve to examine the human experience from that lens. 

Lee’s been traveling the globe (from Seattle to Sydney, Berlin to Boston), teaching and talking about sexuality, psychology, faith, desire and more, and has no intention to stop any time soon. He has been an academic and an adult film performer, a world class sexual adventurer, an outspoken philosopher, is a kink/bondage expert, and has been blogging about sex and spirituality since 1998. Read more about Lee's ventures at PassionAndSoul.com, connect with him on Facebook, and follow him on Twitter @PassionAndSoul. 

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FemDom Series #3: Intro to Financial Domination

It's Orgasm October, but that doesn't mean we're not talking about BDSM. The very lovely and knowledgable Portia Blush has written extensively about forced feminization and an intro to cuckolding for the FemDom Series. For the last article, part #3, Portia is about to delve into another fabulous erotic fetish, Financial Domination also known as FinDom, or FinDomme. Portia Blush reports.

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"It's a man's world", James Brown sang, but in the land of female domination in BDSM play, it is anything but. Welcome to Orgasm October, and although it's no longer Fifty Shades of Grey September, I'm still musing lustily on BDSM play. Here, I complete my three-part series on the erotic landscape of femdom with an introduction to another fetish that's unique within this dynamic; financial domination. Also known as money slavery, this erotic fetish blissfully combines the hunger for complete loss of control, with the need to be humiliated by a dominant woman.

A word on consent

Remember that although the topics covered here may appear far from consensual on the outside looking in, in reality they are negotiated acts between consenting adults. Before beginning play of this nature, negotiation is key to healthy and successful erotic power exchange. Heed the creed: Safe, Sane, and Consensual. For more information on negotiation 101, read this article by Jean-Luc Gothos.

What is financial domination?

Financial domination is a subset of kink primarily associated within the femdom/male submissive dynamic of play. Although many different gender dynamics can experience this kind of play, it is most prevalent within this specific gender dynamic. In our society it has traditionally been that men were seen as the "bread winners" of the relationship, so this fetish, at it's psychological root, pulls energy from their subjugation.

Money slavery is the gifting or taking of money, to or by the femdom, from the submissive on a scheduled basis. These payments, often refereed to as "tributes", are required on whatever basis the femdom decides, and can come in an array of forms which I will explain in greater detail later on. While this dynamic sometimes includes other BDSM related activities, most money slaves receive nothing more than the gift of their femdom's attention these fleeting moments of "tribute". In the purest form, this fetish also never involves sex between the dominant and submissive, as he knows she is lowly, beneath the likes of her, and only his money makes him worthy of even a glimmer of her attention.

It's all in your head... and your wallet

Nothing in our overly-commercialized society seems to represent power, and who has it, more than the amassing of money does. Money symbolizes so many things we idolize; wealth, strength, security, beauty, and even health. We're taught whoever has the most money holds the most power, and so what better way to relinquish your power to another than by submitting in this most vulnerable of ways to another. To give that power to a beautiful dominant woman, a femme fatale of sorts, who can either raise you up or bring you to utter ruin with just a bat of her eyelash (or a click of her finger in your bank account), is the epitome of erotic to this type of submissive male. It is the deepest core desire of the money slave to experience the loss of control at such a depth that only this kind of vulnerability can provide.

Tis' better to give than receive

Financial domination falls under the umbrella of humiliation play in BDSM. Like many genres of humiliation based fantasies, it's a very cerebral kink. It's the literal mind fuck, a mental chase of cat and mouse, of which is the key to it's effectiveness. Dancing on this razor-sharp edge between security and destruction is incredibly sexually arousing for them. The submissive, is this scenario, yearns to be either cleverly coerced into giving money to the femdom, or to simply have her take it, and they are to expect nothing in return. He knows she has no other real use for him but to be her human wallet, and the gratification this provides him is pure heaven. The sheer fact that he has given up his money to her is his benefit, and he rejoices in it.

Forms of tribute

Some FemDoms, also called findoms (financial dominants), require tributes in the form of cash, or automatic bank deposits. It is the femdom's desire to make the submissive into her walking wallet, or ATM machine, and the submissive's to be used as such. Sometimes the femdom will require her money slave to pay specific bills of hers, from everything as large as her mortgage, to as small as her salon or spa visit costs. When I kept money slaves, a favorite thing I used to enjoy was charging them rent to exist in my world. I picked that trick up from the government, and sometimes called it "taxes" *wink*. The gifting of items off of "wish lists" is very popular; a femdom will have things already picked out, and the submissive is required to purchase items for her off of the list. Shopping sprees in stores with the submissive handing over the money, and getting awarded the pleasure of carrying her bags and being her in presence, are also a very popular tribute.

Tributes often depend on the persona that the femdom chooses to don. Some femdoms are cruel domineering mistresses, some are goddesses to be worshipped, and others are spoiled princesses who demand to be pampered and adored. Each submissive has a particular persona that trips his submissive trigger, just as each femdom has a persona that does as well.

Blackmail

In some dynamics, the femdom may require the passwords to all his online banking sites and credit cards, for unlimited access at her whim. This is often a component of blackmail fetishes, which is a subset of financial domination.

To complete the blackmail fetish, and feel the ultimate thrill in total vulnerability, the submissive will provide the femdom with real-life sensitive information like family member names and business contacts, so if the little slave piggy doesn't pay tribute when required, the femdom can expose him, and his fetish, to others.

This is regarded as the quintessential height of "edge play" in this fetish because of the extreme surrender. It should also be noted that this requires great trust, and sometimes the questioning thereof is the biggest turn on! When the submissive wishes to withdraw from such a relationship dynamic, a "buy out" cost is often applied. This can be a multiplied version of whatever the usual scheduled tribute amount is. No information is ever revealed as long as the money slave obeys all of his agreed upon requirements of servitude to his findom.

Lastly...

The combination of raw vulnerability, debasement, and total surrender is an intoxicating mix for the money slave. While this fetish may not be for everyone, to a select few it is an intensely erotic exchange of power. Whatever your kink may be my fellow sexplorers; play safe, negotiate, and most of all, have fun! Intrigued? Want to know more about the world of financial domination? Contact Portia Blush below.

Seeking to shatter the myth that "nice girls don't talk about sex," and somehow trying to survive her mid-30's in suburbia without large doses of vodka, Portia Blush is a saucy Sapiosexual who shares with an infectious wit and a candid vulnerability about her explorations of sex, love, intimacy, kink, the occasional obsession, and everything in between; one true story at a time.

She has over 10 years experience playing Switchy in the BD/SM scene, and has explored a myriad of relationship configurations from monogamous to poly. She holds a BFA from some hoity-toity NYC art school, and still ponders the meaning of life on a regular basis. Follow her on Twitter @erogenousblog, Facebook and of course, ErogenoUS, her blog.

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Exclusive! Searah Deysach on Masturbation & Self-Love

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Finding Your Limits as a Submissive (NSFW)

So Fifty Shades of Grey September is over, BDSM and power play relationships are still on our mind. If you consider these kind of scenes or play, what can you expect? Lilly, an experienced sub says, "It's not all about head."

Lilly writes almost completely about giving oral sex as a submissive in this article, though you could also use its lessons in other areas of saying no as a submissive. You don't even have to be a submissive to understand the importance of finding and sticking to your boundaries. This is important for all long-term relationships. Lilly Rose reports.

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Now fellow submissives, newbies, or curious ones, being a sub is not all about giving oral sex to dominants. Many newbie doms or bad doms focus on the necessary component of oral sex exclusively. Now, maybe you love giving head. You would do it all day. You can deep throat for hours without gagging or getting tired. Kudos to your skills and interests. However, a dom is about being much more than a guy with a raging hard-on that needs to be in your mouth.

Re-claim your sexual identity through BDSM

Remember that BDSM can be at it's best when it involves re-claiming or claiming your sexuality. So, if you don't feel like giving your dom five blow jobs a day, you don't have to. A good dom has a wide reportoire of play that he can choose from. Together he and his sub can endulge in their every whim, with or without head. Some doms get focused on their cock in your mouth. They watch BDSM, kink or straight porn and think: a sub will give me head all the time with no arguments! Eureka! I've found the fountain of bliss! Or they might pressure you into thinking you are not a true sub if you don't give unlimited head to your dom when he demands it. Come on! Do you really think that is all BDSM is about? A true dom works his way into your mind as well as your mouth. He wants to know what you like and desire. And it is not a wrong answer if you do not respond, "O' Sir, giving you head 24/7."

Now, some doms may not tell you that oral sex is their one true desire. But it so happens that as you two get on you begin to realize that you are set on blowjobs.

The difference between pleasure and manipulation

A dom, a new or bad one, may use subtle manipulation to get what he wants. And, let's face it, all people --straight or kinky are capable of doing this. So he may look at you disapprovingly or withdraw affection. He or they may become silent and taciturn and being the natural "pleasers" that some subs are he is counting on your caving in and doing something that you really don't want to do. Snap out of it! Why are you doing it? A true dom does not want a sub that does not enjoy being submissive. If you are not enjoying that blow job eventually he is going to get the point and yes maybe it is better to move on and find a dom with different preferences.

Remember that you have a right to not want to do certain acts.

That is why hard and soft limits exist. A dom who tells you that a subs only duty is to please him is well...not a very good dom. Because let's face it, when a dom is giving you a lot of different and intense orgasms, he is pleasing you. And you wouldn't want to take advantage of his kindness.

In just the same way, a good dom does not take advantage of the generosity of a sub. If you want to give your dom blow jobs because he makes you very happy, that is another issue entirely. However, if all your dom seems to want is blow jobs...and that is making you uncomfortable, best to move on right away before you two get closer. Quite frankly, it makes me sad when I see sub/dom pics or stories overly focused on the oral sex component of a BDSM relationship. There is so much more to the bond between a sub and dom than that. In fact, good sub/dom training involves a component of teasing and denial and when it is properly done, you are going to want to please him like nobody's business. He will not have to force you.

Pleasure for both, not just the dominant

Being a sub and a dom is a match that gives pleasure to both individuals. This is something a new sub sometimes gets confused about. A masochist is supposed to suffer right? A sub is supposed to focus on pleasing others right? Well, yes and no. Yes, subs can be pleasers who enjoy making others happy and serving others. No, we don't like being taken advantage of and used with no pleasure or appreciation as a reward. Is your dom focusing on your needs? Or is it all about him? Does he let you know he appreciates you? How does he do that? Are you having pleasurable orgasms? Are you too caught up in what he wants to even know if you are or are not? Hmm, the latter doesn't sound too good right? Well then, if it doesn't sound right it probably isn't.

I have switched (from sub to dominatrix) and topped (dominated) subs to feel what it is like to be a domme. It was part of my own personal choice in my training. And while some subs were pain junkies who loved me whipping the crap out of them or humiliating them in fantasy role play, I was not comfortable with all that they wanted. When they found out, the thrill was gone. A sub does not want a dom who does not enjoy their job and vice versa. A dom does not want a sub who isn't into her duties. So the answer is to pick the right match. If I choose to be a domme, I want my sub to enjoy painting my toes or pleasing me. All sub/dom and dom/sub relationships are a give and take. All of these relationships involve mutual admiration.

On that note: May all your kinky fantasies come true! Be safe and happy at all times and your orgasm quotia will rise with a happy dom/sub relationship ensuing as a result.

This was originally posted at Lilly's Submissive World.

Lilly Rose is a sex blogger, writer, poet, feminist, sometimes comical, sometimes serious geeky Ivy League Graduate, and newbie submissive to the world of BDSM. She writes about her journey as a submissive on a blog called Lilly's Submissive World. Her work has been posted on Evolvedworld, XXX match, mindchaotica. Her non-fiction and fictional works can be found on Literotica and RSVPEroctica.

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How-to: Erotic Humiliation 101

There are so many different kinds of BDSM. 50 Shades of Grey inspired us all to think about kink in a different light. So how about the practical sides of this. Why might you be interested in erotic humiliation and exactly what does this entail? Technogeisha has been thinking about kink and erotic humiliation for some time. She enjoys being humiliated, and explains why in this article. Technogeisha reports.

Again, please make sure you're communicating with your lover throughout this process. Please read our sexual negotiation article, as well as traits of a submissive and traits of a dominant.

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There’s been lots of talk about kink during Shades of Grey September. Recently, I was approached to write about a certain brand of kink that, up until recently, hadn’t been discussed much. It happens to be the kind of kink I enjoy and it’s called erotic humiliation.

OK, It's an uncomfortable topic

In the realm of BDSM, humiliation can be an uncomfortable topic. Everyone is used to spanking, flogging, even bondage. These subjects can sometime seem, dare I say, pedestrian.

Unfortunately, I don’t particularly enjoy pain play. Not on it’s own anyway. Even with an experienced dominant, I only come close to the edge, but not over it. What takes me to that place involves hands intertwined in my hair, my head pulled back, being forced to my knees, being told what I can and cannot do, having to ask or even beg for release and it all starts with the words “Are you my dirty whore?”

Separate sex from "real life"

It’s not just pain or forceful dominance. The power is also in the words, in the triggers. In the real world I don’t approve of the words “whore” or “slut” being used to shame. I also don’t like being told what to do.

Tell me not to do something, say something or wear something and I’ll immediately want to do it. In the realm of play, though, the things I can’t abide in real life become eroticized. These words strongly delivered are a turn on. I long to be told what to do. I want to give my Sir complete control of me and enjoy every “Please, Sir” and “Thank you, Sir” I utter.

I’m aroused by the fear of being punished for not completing a task or forgetting to ask permission. These triggers are strong and can even work when written. I’ve been reduced to a wet mess with just a text. It’s not about the smack on the ass or a cane across the thighs. It’s about the power exchange. It’s the ultimate mind fuck.

What is erotic humiliation? 

At its core, erotic humiliation is about using embarrassment, fear and shame. These aspects can run the spectrum from verbal to physical. It’s also important to note that humiliation and dominance are not exactly the same thing.

Humiliation doesn’t always involve being ordered about. Strict humiliation without dominance is when words and actions are used to belittle not to dominate. The dominant, in the absence of dominance, is sometimes called a Humiliatrix. Personally, I like humiliation along with dominance and good dose of bondage thrown in. It’s less about embarrassment for me than it is about giving up control.

The 2 kinds of erotic humiliation

Erotic humiliation itself can be broken down into varieties of verbal and physical forms.

#1 Verbal

Verbal humiliation can mean the use of words like slut or whore; being mocked, ridiculed or have appearance belittled; use of racial or ethnic slurs; asking permission to eat, to go to the bathroom or to have an orgasm; not allowing sub to leave the dungeon or house; treated like a pet or an object; being treated or scolded like a child; made to use honorifics such as Master, Mistress, Sir, Ma’am or Daddy. An example would be using demeaning language with the sub either in a forced feminization, a pet play or slave scene.


#2 Physical

Physical aspects of humiliation can be; being slapped or spanked; having movements restricted; orgasm denial or orgasm on demand; sexual denial by command or use of chastity device; enforced dress code (i.e.: forced cross dressing) or required to wear nothing; deprival of privacy such as being watched using the toilet; requiring to wear collar; performing acts of body worship; performing tasks or acts of service; public humiliation; being used as furniture; being ejaculated on or spit on; used as a human toilet; cuckolding; performing sexual acts without reciprocation. Examples can be the use of spanking to humiliate like a child, using someone as a chair or footrest, forced oral sex or asking the sub to do something embarrassing in public.

Negotiation, negotiation, negotiation

Humiliation, just like pain play, requires discussion and negotiation beforehand to state desired play, set limits and agreement on safe words. It is important to establish a clear safe word in play where words like “no”, “stop”, “ow” or “help” can be part of the scenario. You also need to decide whether it will be played out as just a scene or be part of everyday life. Communication is also very important when multiple partners are involved as in open relationships. Different partners could have different rules and boundaries. It helps to have a Top that you trust & feel comfortable with. Erotic humiliation is about discovering erotic triggers. Constant communication on both sides of the D/s relationship helps to know not only what works but also what doesn’t.

Don't forget about aftercare

It can be difficult to understand why someone would find the eroticization of humiliation such a turn on. It can look frighteningly like abuse from the outside. It’s important to know that both the dominant/ top and the sub/bottom are engaging in play that arouses the other.

Humiliation is not just about pleasuring yourself but your play partner as well. The sub tells the dominant what they would and would not like to do, and vice versa, so it is always consensual.

Even rape play that looks non-consensual was negotiated ahead of time with safe words and limits. Aftercare is just as important here as it is with pain play. Erotic humiliation is a mind game so there should be comfort and reassurance afterward. We'll talk more extensively about aftercare soon. For now, just make sure you again tell each other how much you care about each other and be extra-specialy-nice.

Let's not analyze

There is also a temptation to psychoanalyze the origin of these desires. I recently read an article by ABC News where psychologists tried to determine the origins of fetishes. They were convinced that certain events in childhood must kick off the fetish.

Humiliation is sometimes described as a kink and sometimes fetish. This may be because paraphilias can be incorporated into play. It’s a slippery slope trying to figure out how a kink or a fetish manifests itself. I’m not a big fan of this kind of analysis. I believe the reasons for what turns you on depends on many different personal factors. Not every foray into kink or fetish has to do with childhood trauma. It could just feel good and work for you or your partner.

Don't be afraid to negotiate & experiment gently

I feel like this was only the tip of the iceberg on this topic. I can only hope it opened a small window into a kind of kink that has a tendency to live in the shadow of it’s pain play cousin. If you’d like to include some of this into your play the best way to start is talking to your partner.

Do a little researching, a little soul-searching and start slowly if need be. There are books that cover the subject by authors such as Tristan Taormino and Midori plus lots of erotica for inspiration. You can even find classes on erotic humiliations at popular adult stores, fetish events and dungeons (which we'll talk about). Humiliation is different things to different people. It may take both conversation and experimentation to find what works for you.

Originally posted on Live on the Swingset.

Technogeisha loves to use her passion for writing and research to learn more about open relationships and sexuality. She looks forward to sharing her discoveries with all of you. She writes for Life on the Swing Set and contributes to Sexis Social at Eden Fantasys and other sites. Find her on Facebook as Miko Technogeisha and on Twitter as @Technogeisha.

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FemDom Series #2: Intro to Cuckolding

It's still Fifty Shades of Grey September! So we get to talk about dominance, "FemDom" or Female Domination as a duality in BDSM play. Just like it's title, the female takes on the Dominant role, and the male, the submissive. On the outside, this relationship is very similar to other relationship gender configurations in BDSM coupling. On the inside however, there are a few areas of play and fetish which are uniquely intrinsic to this particular dynamic. Last week in FemDom Series #1, Portia waxed enthusiastically about the erotic joys of Forced Feminization in FemDom play.

This week we're continuing our exploration in this boundlessly sexy realm with another fetish unique to this dynamic; Cuckolding. This scene involves three people, which will also take a lot of talking. Even if it's just a fantasy at this point, review & learn.

***

Talk, talk, talk

I want to remind you all, before we go too deeply here, that all of the play in BDSM that I speak of is consensual. The key to healthy sexual expression is that everyone participating is a consenting adult. At the core of this fetish, as with many others in BDSM, the submissive has already given their permission to the dominant, although from the outside looking in it may seem otherwise. Before engaging in any of these activities with your partner, I suggest reading Negotiation 101.

What is Cuckolding?  

Cuckolding is a fetish in which the submissive male gets off sexually on the humiliation of watching his Mistress pleasured by other men. Sometimes, it does not even have to include watching, and can come (pun intended) from just knowing they are being pleased by others. It is unique to FemDom relationships in that, primarily, this fetish subculture centers around the female as Dominant, and the male as submissive.

Unlike most masochistic play in BDSM where the submissive gets off on physical pain, Cuckolds, or "cucks", are aroused by the psychological pain of humiliation.

It's an intensely cerebral fetish. It is a literal "mind fuck"; requiring a level of intellectual cunning that goes beyond the skill of wielding of a crop or a flogger. In addition to the voyeuristic component of Cuckolding, the humiliation aspect is paramount to the submissive. They want to be told, and shown, that they are not worthy to please their Mistress sexually, that another man/woman is better, more deserving, and more desirous than he will ever hope to be. The mental anguish they suffer caused by their Mistress is akin to the pleasure of her physical touch.

What's Mine is Mine, and What's Yours is Mine

Inside this fetish are some interesting facets of play that may, or may not, be part of the relationship negotiated. Orgasm control, orgasm denial, and forced chastity are often part of Cuckolding. All of these techniques are used for two specific reasons. One, to remind the submissive that his body, and all of it's pleasures, belongs to the FemDom alone, and two, to further his humiliation. A FemDom may limit how and when the submissive is allowed to orgasm, let alone touch himself sexually. She may also withhold this as either a form of punishment, or training, depending on the relationship dynamics. The pleasure he receives from being her "cuck" should be all he desires.

Mocking of his cock size, lack of masculinity to her liking, and of his utter lack of skill are all part of this. His humiliation is carried out in the reinforcement of these notions. In some cases, total celibacy through forced chastity may be required of the submissive. To ensure his chastity, some FemDoms will require their submissive to wear a chastity device to keep his cock under lock and key, literally. Only she gets to decide when, where, and how her property gets used, and this device serves as a reminder. I hate it when people play with my toys without my permission, don't you?

A Word On "Felching"

His pathetic cock might not be worthy to please you, but that worthless cuck is good for something! Put him to work and avoid the messy hassles of clean-up. Some FemDoms, after allowing their submissive the pleasure of hearing, knowing, or watching a real man please her, will give her cuck the gift of cleaning her up after sex.

This is done by eating her out, and sucking all the other man's cum out of her vagina. In fetish circles this is known as "Felching". The degradation provided by this is a thrill for the cuck. He feels useful in knowing that, while he is not only not worthy of her, he can clean up after the man who is. He is rewarded the pleasure of servitude, and of the debasement at her discretion. That truly is the gift that keeps on giving!

Sometimes, such a pleasure is not allowed the submissive. No need to forgo the fun! Consider giving that cuck a cum facial instead. Some FemDoms will save the used cum-filled condoms from their chosen desirable partners, and empty them on the face of their cuck, giving him a "facial" with the more worthy partner's cum. Equally humiliating, and creative. You may also choose to empty it onto a small plate for him to lick clean as you watch. It really is up to your own personal devious taste. Oh, the puns!

As Always, Safety First!

Although the activities I described involve higher-risk behavior in terms of STI (sexually transmitted infection), they have often been a common practice within Cuckolding. If you engage in these, it's important to know, and trust, the sexual health status of all parties involved. This is care for you, as well as your submissive's health and well-being.

Humiliation play of any kind of a delicate sword that must be wielded with precision and care. It's important to really know and trust your partner well, the more intensely involved your relationship dynamic is. Your not only playing with someones body, but with the intimate and vulnerable corners of their psyche. A bruise from a misplaced flogger is easy to see and goes away after a few weeks, while a psychological bruise is invisible and can be devastatingly long-lasting. Trust and knowledge of your partner is imperative before engaging to this depth. Remember humiliation during a negotiate scene is wonderful, while humiliation after a scene has ended is irresponsible and damaging to one's trust.

Care for your submissive's safety, both physical and emotional. during and after scene, are key. Depending on the structure of your relationship, whether scene by scene, or 24/7 TPE (Total Power Exchange), aftercare will vary greatly. Aftercare can vary from "cuddling" to "clean up and let me alone for awhile". Talk about what both you, and your submissive need after scene, just as much as what you need during.

While Cuckolding in FemDom relationships may be for some, it's not for all. It can be an intensely erotic form of play. Whatever you decide: have fun! If you're not enjoying yourselves, than what's the point? Live juicy my fellow sexplorers! Have more questions about Cuckolding? Contact Portia Blush below for more information!

Seeking to shatter the myth that "nice girls don't talk about sex", and somehow trying to survive her mid-30's in suburbia without large doses of vodka, Portia Blush is a saucy Sapiosexual who shares with an infectious wit and a candid vulnerability about her explorations of sex, love, intimacy, kink, the occasional obsession, and everything in between; one true story at a time.

She has over 10 years experience playing Switchy in the BD/SM scene, and has explored a myriad of relationship configurations from monogamous to poly. She holds a BFA from some hoity-toity NYC art school, and still ponders the meaning of life on a regular basis. Follow her on twitter @erogenousblog and Facebook and of course, ErogenoUS her blog.

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Original Adult Fiction: Office Tango

Erotic stories are pretty hot, don't you think? Yeah, us, too! Do you want to add a little steam to your Tuesday? Our Crimson Love is here to introduce a series of erotic stories with a little introduction to her characters. Here's another original piece of titillating fiction for your reading pleasure.

* * *

The day has dragged on and it’s now 1:30pm. Time for the weekly Thursday meeting. I go to grab my raspberry iced tea and a handful of fruity hard candy because it’s the only thing that will keep me awake and get me through this monotonous bullshit.

Upon entering the boardroom, a deliciously arousing scent wafts in my path. It’s masculine, with woody notes and a hint of musk, a heady and addictive combination that has forced me to find the owner of this scent. I casually walk around the room and pretend to look for a seat all while trying to find the mysterious origin of my new addiction. It isn't long before we must all be seated for the start of the meeting.

After everyone is seated, Mr. Millwall welcomes everyone, and I am on my way to Lala Land thinking about the things I have to do when I get home. I'm going through my mental grocery list when my thoughts are interrupted by an eruption of applause.

At the exact same moment, that oh so intoxicating scent I failed to find the origin of, wafts right past me. I can only see the back of the owner of such deliciousness as he proceeds to the front of the room. Mr. Millwall introduces him as James O'Sullivan, the new head of the advertising department, my department.

He is tall and well dressed. He's in a grey Armani suit, with sandy, blonde, well coiffed hair, a goatee and sky-blue eyes. As he thanks everyone for the warm welcome I notice his voice is deep and smooth, like rich silk. It reverberates in the deepest, darkest spot of my body. He's so confident, witty and charming; commanding the room's attention with such ease. I can’t believe this man is my new boss.

When James has finished his little introductory speech he returns to his seat and that intoxicating scent liquefies my insides into a puddle of lust. As he sits, he catches my eye and flashes me a smile. I feel the heat of a flush creep up my face from my neck. I quickly look away because I fear my body would ignite if I stare any longer. For the rest of the meeting, I steal glances of James in between fantasizing about the wonderfully wicked things we could do together. Would he do that thing I've been dreaming about? Would he tie me up like I've wished?

It is now 3:30 PM and the meeting is over. People hastily leave but I pretend to take notes on the meeting papers to give myself time to steal one last glance at James. When I look up he is gone and I can't help but to note the tiny pang of disappointment in my gut. I quickly gather my things and as I start to walk to exit the boardroom my cell phone vibrates in my pocket. It's a luscious feeling, and I shutter. I grab my phone to see who or what it is and it’s a text from my best friend, Nikkie. As I proceed to exit the room and read my message I am abruptly knocked off balance and everything I was holding spills to the floor. My papers, tea, and my phone, which is now in pieces, are scattered on the floor.

I mumble some obscenity and kneel down on the floor to pick up my scattered items. As I do I hear that familiar deep, silky voice. I look up and it’s James. He kneels down to help me pick up my things while profusely apologizing and introducing himself.

My heart starts to race and I can’t even look him in the eye. He offers his hand for a shake and as our hands touch I feel electricity move through my body like ripping waves and settle itself deep inside of me.

A slow flush creeps up my face once again and I hurry to gather everything including my ego off of the floor. I hear James talking to me but I can’t focus on the words because I am so distracted by his scent and allure. In a daze, I feel myself being interrupted once again and am propelled back to reality. I spring to my feet and quickly thank him for helping me. I turn to walk away but am stopped by the feeling of his hand lightly touching my arm. I turn back and he says “Wait I never got your name”. “My name is Raven Bloom.” He smiles at my brief introduction and I feel my face flush again.

“Raven, it’s a pleasure to meet you. I have heard quite a bit about you and your talents in this department.” He pauses and then says something I didn’t expect.

“Raven, would you like to have lunch with me tomorrow? It’s my treat since I nearly knocked you over. Not to mention, I would love to get a feel for the department and the direction everyone is headed in. Also, I would love to hear about your latest project as the lead creative. I have heard a lot of buzz about it."

I smile at him, muster up my most confident non-chalant, "Yes", and walk away. As I reach my desk, I feel panic wash over me. Shit how am I going to get through this lunch meeting tomorrow? What am I going to wear? Shit! I need to call Nikkie.

To be continued...

This is a guest post by our very own Crimson Love.

Crimson is our resident BDSM fetish expert. If you don't see Crimson out dining with her adoring boyfriend, you'll find her reading books on innovation or finance. Crimson is currently finishing off her Bachelor's, she is passionate about food, photography, music and especially sex--and she's not afraid to talk about it. With everyone!

Have story ideas? Get in touch with Crimson Love at amber@getlusty.com.

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