We're all about educating about the vulva. Coincidentally, after receiving publishing our
Vulva 101: 6 Tips for Success article, the wonderful and lovely Hylton Coxwell reached out to send us a copy of "
Vulva 101" in the mail.
The moment we read through it, we loved it to say the least! The book is sitting in the middle of our office on a coffee table. We recommend it to many of the ladies and gents who pass through our four walls!
Vulvas, vaginas, inner lips and just the entire 'down there' is beautiful. As ladies, unless we partake in cunnilingus, we don't have much of an opportunity to see the vulva with all its glory. Dr. Carlen, of the Sexy Living blog, is here to take a moment to reflect on why she loves "
Vulva 101," the new book by Hylton Coxwell.
* * *
My vulva is a delicate flower
My vulva is a work of art
My vulva likes to play
My vulva likes to part
My vulva relieves my stress
My vulva gives me a glow
My vulva is my best friend
Even when it flows.
Ok, so I’m not the best poet this century but the point was that I recently discovered a term that I think many of my readers will thoroughly enjoy. I was watching a tv show last night, aimed mostly at a heterosexual male audience, and this term came up:
I recently received Vulva 101 by Hylton Coxwell in the mail. I’ll admit, even for a Sexologist, looking at a book vibrant with pictures of vulvas can be a really eye-opening experience. I have Vaginal Hubris. I take pride in my vaginal strength, size, colour and shape. I take care of my vulva. I tidy it up, I do my kegels and treat it as part of my physiological temple.
Think about it, though. If you don’t take pride in your vulva, how do you expect anyone else to worship it? As I begin, and open the book, the dedication is where I stop and take a moment to reflect. It reads: “This book is dedicated to all those who have ever felt shame regarding their bodies and to those who see beauty in all things.”
What is beauty? In a world where social commodification is in every commercial, magazine and ad as well as the strong rules of performativity that continue to thrive based on the binary of patriarchal systemics it’s no wonder we can’t even define the purity of beauty. This though, is what Vulva 101 is all about.
"Finally! It’s about time someone made the connection between the academic, anatomical medical diagrams to the 'up close' and personally intimate visual presence of a women’s geinitalia; a specific focus on the uniqueness of each women’s vulva." - Viktoria Kalenteris
This informative and visual anomalie is exactly what is being said. It is about looking. It is about provocation. It is about shifting the discourse from normal & abnormal to healthy & harm reductive. Vulva 101 has 5 chapters, each uniquely exploring our current relationship that many of us have with our vulvas. Throughout the pages though are vibrant and eye catching pictoral debuts of a large variety of beautiful vulvas. All are different, unique and the collection reminds me of my mothers' garden from my youth. Growing, changing and beautiful.
According to Hylton, our vulva should be seen as “A part that should symbolize life, love and pleasure, but instead is hidden from society and individuals, even from their words and thoughts,” (page 11). This is what our vulva culture has become. When it’s easier to say penis & testicles, than it is vulva, vagina or clitoris.
I remember in my undergrad being with a large group of friends and playing “the penis game”. As irrelevant as it may sound, the goal of the game was to be the person who could yell the word penis as loud as possible in gradual increments. We never played this game with the word vagina. Maybe the 3 syllables was too difficult of a task at the time.
The one piece that makes Vulva 101 different from other literary or artistic pieces about the vulva is in its display. Hylton made it quite clear that the graphic and full featured colourful pictures are on purpose and part of the attempt to evoke dialogue. Being that it was already difficult to find similar reference to what was being attempted through Vulva 101, Hylton found that any similar projects often “tried to water everything down, often in sepia tones or black and white, in an effort to not be confused with pornography."
Why is it every time we see or elude to our genitalia it is either medicalized or negatively socialized in reference to ‘that dirty pornography’? Our own bodies, our temples, our selves have become our own worst enemies of the state-literally and figuratively speaking. We find solace in protecting our prized treasures and are reacted with retribution when we attempt to go beyond our concealment and choose to publicly celebrate what is one of our most effective ways to connect with nature and our heritage.
“So who are the 101 women who posed? Women from all walks of life, body types and ages (18-65, with an average age of 34)” (page 13). Vulva 101 visually explores and celebrates the vulva of every woman, no matter what they called it. “Pussy, vagina, cunt, down there, vajayjay, cookie, box, punani, fanny (British), whowho, who-ha, junk, package, it, cooch, cooter, cunny, snatch, kitty, chatte (French), vagin (French), truffle, kitten, minage, muff, quim, twat, clam, beef-curtains, giggy, Center of the Universe, Petunia, George and jinka (Japanese) [these are listed] in order of popularity among the women who posed” (page 15). This is the language. These are the words that manipulate our ideals of the vulva. No matter what word you identify with though, all are understood as a reference to our most beautiful of parts-the vulva.
I wouldn’t want to ruin your own experience of indulging in Vulva 101, which is why I will end my review here. I feel that the ultimate goal of Vulva 101 is all about revealing normativity in the abnormal manifestation of our vaginal discourse. It goes beyond the experience of our knowing, our cultural relativity and urges your own manifestation of understanding the relationship we all have; self-identified woman or self indentified men to arise, page by page with the vulva.
Therefore, consider adding
Vulva 101 to your collections. Or, if you are not in a place where you cannot, consider then, adding love to your relationship with one of the most precious temples in existence, the vulva. Vulva 101 is also on Twitter
@vulva101.
Originally posted on
Dr. Carlen's Sexy Living Tumblr.
Dr. Carlen Costa is pretty awesome. A resident of London, Ontario in Canada, she's making waves in London and beyond.
As a Sexologist, "Sexy Living with Dr. Carlen" is the creation of a safe space in order to discuss concerns, desires or general questions in regards to your relationship with your partner, yourself, and others. Send me questions, send me your thoughts! Through this we will cater to all orientations, genders and age groups. We are all Sexy beings, and should feel as such in our own skins. Find Dr. Carlen on Twitter
@DrCarlen and 'Like' her
Facebook page.
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