Why Male Orgasm is Different From Ejaculation (NSFW)

Orgasm October is over and Naked November has come and past. Now, Dick & Dildo December is in full swing! We posted some time ago about how to have multiple orgasms for men that raised a good question among our readers. Specifically, one reader noted [of the article], "Seems they just redefine what an orgasm is for men, and go on just to talk about control." Actually, no. Ejaculation and orgasm aren't the same. Today, we're talking about how they're different.

Brendan debunks any misconceptions you appreciated readers may have about about male orgasms and ejaculation! With lots of research, we have some answers to your perplexing question. This is just part two in our series of the male orgasm, so stay tuned for more articles to come. GetLusty's Brendan White reports.  

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For many men, orgasms and ejaculation are inextricably combined because ejaculation and orgasms seem to happen at the same time.  While this is the often the case, ejaculation and orgasms don't necessarily have to happen at the same time - and don't with a great deal of men.  Both words refer to two separate events that have some associated causes and effects.  Think of a Venn diagram - there are aspects of each category that are mutual and aspects that are completely separate.   

Fleshing out the difference

Before we can dive headlong into the nitty gritty details of male orgasms and ejaculation, it's critical to define the two terms.  The exact definition of an orgasm is heavily contested.  Some clinical definitions are limited to physiology while others extend into the realms of psychology and neurology.  There are rigid definitions that see an orgasm as predominantly physiological: muscular contractions involved during sexual activity, along with changes in heart rate, blood pressure and other factors.  I've also encountered sources that claim orgasms are completely mental while ejaculation is the physical end of things.  While nicely compartmentalizing the two terms, this claim is false!

Orgasm

I believe the most useful definition of an orgasm is somewhere out there in orgasm no-man's land - as a mental state, as a series of physiological and also neurological events.  During an orgasm, brain waves change and certain hormones are released.  Scientific American reports: "Achieving orgasm, brain imaging studies show, involves more than heightened arousal. 

It requires a release of inhibitions engineered by shutdown of the brain’s center of vigilance in both sexes and a widespread neural power failure in females."  Orgasms are controlled by the autonomic nervous system, which operates below the level of consciousness and is responsible for other things like heart rate, digestion, respiratory rate, sexual arousal, and more.  This system, when stimulated enough, triggers an orgasm, which in turn queues ejaculation.

Ejaculation

The definition of ejaculation, on the other hand, is far less ambiguous.  Ejaculation is the strictly physical process of ejecting semen from the male reproductory tract.  If you're still skeptical consider this: some men ejaculate before orgasms, some after.  Some men may not ejaculate at all when they orgasm.  It is not uncommon for orgasms from prostate stimulation to be dry and ejaculate-less.  There are also retrograde ejaculations which occur when semen is redirected to the urinary bladder.  Retrograde ejaculations can be one symptom of a larger medical problem so if you think you are having retrograde ejaculations, do yourself a favor and talk to your doctor.

Conclusion

So lets go over what we uncovered today!  Orgasms are total body responses while ejaculations are more isolated physical events.  While the two can in some cases be mutually exclusive, typically an ejaculation follows an orgasm.   Don't be confused - they are different from each other!  Don't you let anyone tell you differently, just point them to GetLusty for Couples for some proper sex indoctrination.

This is an article by our newly titled Business Outreach intern, Brendan White. Brendan is a Boston University graduate with a passion for all things historical and also all things sex. A recent Boston transplant to Chicago, Brendan has a musical mind and at one point toured the country. When he's not thinking about conquering feudal Japan, chances are he's playing loud Rock N' Roll somewhere with other like minded individuals. When he is not thinking about GetLusty, he's spending time with his exceptionally lovely girlfriend.

 Want to get in touch with Brendan? E-mail him at Brendan@getlusty.com.

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5 Things NOT to Do Mid-Blowjob: Part 1

Men and women love head. We love to receive and hopefully, we love to give as well. Camille Crimson has given us lots of useful blowjob tips, and we've also asked men 6 ways not to ask for head. But we haven't had a male's perspective yet! How about for those giving head Thank goodness Brendan White is aboard the GetLusty for Couples team! He has cleverly written on 5 things you should never do during a blowjob. Part two is coming soon.

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Any men out there hate blowjobs? I challenge any of you readers to find a guy that is opposed to receiving oral sex. Go ahead, I'll wait. Yeah, none of you left your chair. And where there is a demand, a supply always follows.  So it's not too shocking that magazines and the internet are saturated with blowjob advice. Originally, I was going to write about killer blowjob strategies and techniques because I've run into fantastic tips and techniques. However, it seemed for every legitimate piece of advice was a polar opposite; its inverse, its yang. (Good advice) -1.  

I'm of course talking about the absurd, the scary, the painful, the inconvenient and the silly blowjob technique. The theoretical technique that sounds exotic or sexy or creative or fresh but probably should never shake hands with reality. I'll be your blowjob captain today, steering you away from the rough seas of questionable oral sex acts and through the process of elimination, help you hone in on that "killer blowjob."

#1 Say, "no" to choking on frozen grapes

Frozen grapes. Again, not something I've ever experienced. While it might not necessarily feel bad having a contrast of temperature on your penis while receiving oral sex, I have to imagine that this particular technique would make things more difficult for the person giving the blowjob. The logistics of fondling a penis with your mouth does not get easier with half a dozen frozen fruit orbs thrown in the mix. Try and picture that - not very flattering.  Any pleasure gained with this technique may be cancelled out by the increased difficulty of the blow job. Plus, would there be the temptation to chow down? It sounds dangerous.

#2 Pop Rocks. Scary!

I've heard this faux technique so many times that I can comfortably call it a "classic" faux technique. The idea is that the popping sensation pop rocks produce when in contact with your saliva will feel awesome on your penis. I argue common sense says otherwise. They are crystallized sugar, which is hard and has edges! You may be scoffing to yourself right now. "Oh Brendan, but they're so small, and they pop! That sounds exciting, stop complaining. You'll love it!" No! The penis is extremely sensitive, especially the head.  Rubbing it against small hard and potentially sharp popping things is not A-Okay in my book.

#3 Pepper under the nose? No!

I am of course talking about the pepper under the nose. No. No. Do not ever think it's ok to surprise your partner with a face full of pepper when he is having an orgasm. I've heard whispers that sneezing while having an orgasm feels good, and while I cannot speak from personal experience, I know what it feels like to sneeze while urinating. If that is in any way comparable to a mid-ejaculation sneeze, I'm not interested. Plus there are important things on the face that should remain perpetually pepper free, like the eyes. Interestingly enough, there have been cases of association between sneezing and sexual stimulation. Still, pepper under the nose gets a double veto. 

#4 Sweet'N Low semen?

Using synthetic sugar if you don't like the taste of semen: I would actually recommend not swallowing if you don't like the taste, or communicating your concern to your partner.   Pouring a packet of Sweet'N Low in your mouth while giving a blow job does not sound enjoyable.

If the person you are kindly providing a blowjob to is not considerate enough to work with your preferences then they are unworthy of your affection! A diet low on red meat, asparagus, garlic, and high on fruits, water, sugar improves the taste of semen.

#5 Fork on the balls

Wanted by no person ever. Well, that's not true, but if you suspect your partner might enjoy this, I recommend getting verbal confirmation first.

Surprising him with a sharp metal object applied to the genitals might have the opposite effect of what you're going for. 

This article is by Business Outreach intern and occasional writer, Brendan White. Brendan is a Boston University graduate with a passion for all things historical and also all things sex. A recent Boston transplant to Chicago, Brendan has a musical mind and at one point toured the country. When he's not thinking about conquering feudal Japan, chances are he's playing loud rock n' roll in some laboratory with other like-minded individuals. When he's not thinking about GetLusty for Couples, he's spending time with his exceptionally lovely girlfriend.

What to get in touch with him?  E-mail Brendan at brendan@getlusty.com.  

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5 Things NOT To Do Mid-Blowjob: Part 2

Maybe it's because it's Dick & Dildo December, but we're thinking about blowjobs a lot lately. Sometimes those who bestow the gift of the blowjob get the idea that trying new blowjob techniques will be a fabulous idea! That we don't necessarily need to even chat with our partners. I'll just pull out this crazy, fun, new idea that Cosmo gave me. He'll love it! Then, you go home and try it and surprise. It may be hilarious, but it doesn't really provide much pleasure to either of you. Therefore, in Part 2 of our series (check out part 1 here) on things not to do during a blowjob, our Brendan White returns with more of what not to do.

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Did you think the bad blow job inquisitor was finished with merely 5 mediocre blow job maneuvers?  Please. I'm back with part II of bad blow job techniques! Curious about part I? Check them out: bad blowjob techniques.

I want to dispel some so-called blowjob techniques I ran into in magazines and online. Right off the bat I want to eliminate: hot sauce, sandpaper on the balls, scrotal acupuncture. I haven't personally experienced all of these, so if you have personal experience with any of these techniques and beg to differ, let me know in the comments section! Onward! 5 more blowjob techniques to avoid at all costs (or to at the very least talk with your partner about beforehand)!

#1 Spraying me with ice water?! No, please!

Spraying your partner with a bottle of ice water may cool down some hot foreplay. And weird him out. At the very least ladies, please talk with your partners before you try this. 

#2 Surprise anal action

While a blow job may feel incredible accompanied with massaging the prostate, this is not a move you bust out willy-nilly. This is one of those things you should talk about first with your blow job recipient. There are people out there that look at the anus as a one-way street. Fingers are not welcome there. A little communication goes a long way.  

#3 Nutella

Dip his dick in Nutella? Really? This isn't to stay that Nutella is not absolutely deliciously goodness. Everyone calm down and get back in your seats!

However, Nutella is also thick and pasty. Dry mouth, anyone? It'd be the equivalent of a peanut butter blowjob! A more viscous chocolate syrup is less dangerous and can achieve the same  effect. I am extremely curious about if anyone has used that hardening chocolate syrup sexually. Report back to me!

#4 Talking weirdly dirty

While I think talking dirty can be extremely sexy, it is a slippery slope. Too often, people take their dirty talk queues from porn, which we all know is not like our real life sex. Porn often times is meant to be over the top and absurd, so saying something like, "I'm going to lay siege to your penis with my mouth pussy!" to your significant other may just confuse and upset them. Talking dirty is hot when it sounds genuine. Another thing to consider: it doesn't always have to be filthy to be dirty. Soon, GetLusty for Couples will have multiple ways to talk dirty. For now, talk about talking dirty before sex. See what they'd like to hear and what you'd like to say.

#5 Combining them all!?

Most of this list is based on inference, not experience. I would love it for someone to do some gonzo journalism. Get your guy ready, then run to the kitchen. Grab the nutella, pepper, grapes from the freezer, fork, cold water and pop rocks (maybe for ease you could assemble this motley list into a specially allocated "blow job drawer"), and go to town!  I advice just giving the blowjob in the kitchen to save you a few trips. You may want one of these while you're causing sexual PTSD.

Talk about it!

But hey, who am I to judge. Human beings have demonstrated that they can sexualize virtually anything. That being said, I cannot stress how important it is to talk to your partner.

It may not feel very elegant or sexy to explicitly discuss what you want to do or want to receive but it's much better than being unpleasantly surprised in the middle of a hot and heavy moment. Consent is sexy. There should be no surprise sexual acts. If you're uncertain, talk about it.

This article is by GetLusty writer, Brendan White. Brendan is a Boston University graduate with a passion for all things historical and also all things sex. A recent Boston transplant to Chicago, Brendan has a musical mind and at one point toured the country. When he's not thinking about conquering feudal Japan chances are he's playing loud rock n' roll in some laboratory with other like-minded individuals. When he's not thinking about GetLusty he's spending time with his exceptionally lovely girlfriend.

What to get in touch with him?  E-mail Brendan at brendan@getlusty.com.  

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3 Books on Giving the Best Cunnilingus

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