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#1 Get a room
If you are visiting relatives this is easy to do. If your eager family insists on putting you and your lover up, cite not wanting to be a burden, the end of the flu, or frequent traveler points are about to expire. If you are home for the holiday, book a room - for no other reason than, because you can. Getting a room gives you an opportunity to leave baggage at home and just enjoy each other. Who cares if you are loud, or if the room looks like Spinal Tap had spent the night. Taking it to the extreme is even more fun with maid service.
#2 Spa day
While every other idiot is standing in line to purchase the last flat screen TV for $10 less than anywhere else, you two are enjoying a couple’s massage. Many luxury spas offer deals this season because the masses would rather get their retail on, as opposed to relaxing. If you are lucky enough to be staying at a hotel that offers this feature en suite, go for it! It reduces travel time for that happy ending.
#3 Gift giving comes early
Shopping doesn’t have to be done at the mall - that is, unless your mall has a Hustler Store. Hitting your favorite sex boutique together for a new toy or outfit is the perfect reward after a long day with family.
#4 Fight the crowd
Bars and restaurants enjoy high volume this season with all those holiday shoppers working up an appetite; why not take advantage of it? Pick a new hot spot and arrive separately. Enjoy the dance of making eye contact from across the room, watch as someone tries to chat up your partner, send a drink over. Picking up your mate is more fun when you pretend you are somebody else for the entire evening.
#5 SextStuck shopping with family, watching football with the cousins, getting a tour of the family town? Smart phones are a wonderful thing to curb the boredom and heighten the anticipation of the end of the fourth quarter. Text your fantasies to each other while doing the mundane. Time flies when you’re having fun.
#6 Get a gift for an 'experience'
Deals are everywhere. Duck into a bath store and grab some body scrub for a mutually beneficial experience. Massages are great, don’t misunderstand we love them but showing your partner some skin-love is something that doesn’t happen enough. Yes, the shower is big enough for both of you. What? You thought it was all about the scrub?
#7 Black out
Sensory Deprivation Tanks, or Isolation Tanks are one of the ultimate ways to rejuvenate. These heavy-duty salt water tanks lock out all sound and light, and allow tensions to melt away. Many places allow you to float with another, but be sure you ask if they have the right size tank to accommodate two. Awareness, sensuality, and relaxation peak after just one session so don’t pick a place too far from home.
#8 Eat in
Don’t have to deal with family? Everyone has gone home? Good. Enjoy the simple culinary pleasures of leftovers a la 9 ½ Weeks. The blindfold, the music, the whip cream…too young to know what I’m talking about? Get the movie.
#9 Make it a Blockbuster night
9 ½ Weeks is classic but why not spend the weekend on other classic titles you never got around to watching. Or just get into the spirit with a little holiday theme: Very, Very Bad Santa, Miracle on 69th Street, and Santa Sluts can bring some joy to the holiday.
#10 Truss it up
A little holiday bondage never hurt anyone. Take this opportunity to set up or reconfigure the restraining system under your bed, try a door system, or sportsheet if you prefer. Enjoy the research. Just when you think you have tried it all.
When all is said and done the holidays are supposed to be for giving, for sharing, and for freeing the love. You have done your duty for home and hearth. There are more days ahead which will test your resolution and get on your last nerve. But if you take a little holiday time for yourself, it will be much easier to make it to the New Year; sanity intact.
She loves good food, and a perfectly poured Guinness at any Irish pub in the city. Her Beastie Boys CDs rest comfortably next to her Misfits vinyl, and she believes Underground Garage is the best radio program known to humankind. Armed with degrees in History, and a love of Urban Planning, Lynn is currently writing and researching a book on the 80's Chicago bar scene. Get in touch with Lynn at editorial@getlusty.com.
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