How Do I Get Him to Spice Things Up?

This is one we get a lot. How do we spice things up in our relationship? For GetLusty, we recommend the 5 pillars of an amazing sexual relationship. Each of these pillars takes work, including communication and sexual technique, as Dr. Dick notes below. We love Dr. Dick! He's one of our favorite sexual educators! With over 30 years of practice, he's here again to answer his readers' questions. Today, Dr. Dick explores the connection between sexual intimacy and sexual performance for our gentlemen readers.

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Name: Catherine Joanne
Gender: Female
Age: 42
Location: Canada, Alberta

Dear Dr. Dick,

I am in a very loving, understanding, compassionate relationship, which I have been waiting for for some time now. The only thing is he stimulates my emotional side in every way, but in the bedroom he is not as sexual as previous partners I have encountered.

I do not know if this is because all my previous relationships have always been about the “sex” and fizzled out, shortly there after, or this is how a “real love thing truly is?” If so, how can I mentally get over this one…he’s just not inventive, or has a lack of sexual knowledge. I don’t want to end this loving relationship over the bed issue. Please help me out on this one, so I do not sabotage this relationship.

Sincerely,
Catherine

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Dear Catherine,

Like my momma always used to say, if it has four wheels or a dick, you know you’re gonna have trouble with it. Listen darlin’, if this guy satisfies as much as you say, hold on to him. He’s a keeper.

You can always teach the old dog some new tricks. Of course, you’re gonna have to take the lead in his sex ed. Let’s just hope he’s not threatened by a woman who is more sexually experienced, adventurous and progressive than he is.

That being said, I think you ought to make your peace with the fact that he’ll probably never become a wild fuck. But then again, you probably don’t want that, because those wild fucks don’t make for loving, understanding and compassionate partners…as you already know.

Just remember: It’s as hard to domesticate a wild fuck, as it is to make a domestic fuck wild!

Good luck,
Dr. Dick

Originally posted at Dr. Dick's Sex Advice.

This is a guest post from Richard Wagner, Ph.D., ACS - aka Dr Dick, sexologist, author, educator, syndicated sex advice columnist and publisher of Dr Dick's Sex Advice and Dr Dick Sex Toy Reviews. He's been a practitioner of Sex Therapy and Relationship Counseling for over 30 years.

Richard Wagner (Dr. Dick) affirms the fundamental goodness of sexuality in human life, both as a personal need and as an interpersonal bond. He knows the unhappiness and anxiety, which sex-negative attitudes can engender in individuals, alienating them from their own body and the bodies of others.
Find Dr. Dick on Twitter @DrDickSexAdvice.