Whipping & Flogging 101 for Couples

Everyone starts off as a newbie at sometime. So we thought -- how about trying whipping or flogging as part of Fifty Shades September? It's a great excuse to try out new things. You may have considered this out of the question before 50 Shades. Well, at GetLusty, we're all about finding excuses to try new things out and keep your sex and love lives spicy!

Just because you're in a long-term relationship or marriage, shouldn't mean it's gotta be boring! So before you start, we recommend the negotiation 101 and 6 tips for getting started in BDSM. After you've read those two, check out this is a guest post by our own Ellen Dukes.

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Corporal punishment may not immediately come to mind as sexy. In fact, many couples do not associate pain with pleasure at all. A moment please, lovers, to sway your minds about the sensuality of punishment.

Whipping and flogging (also used as a tool of corporal punishment) doesn't have to be excruciating. It can be a different flavor of pleasure altogether! Bondage can get pretty heavy with a willing couple, to the point of rope, gags, latex, and a sexy myriad of playthings.

However, the focus of this article is to ease beginners into the softer end of the punishment spectrum.

We're talking light whipping, spanking, and for the adventurous, flogging. As we've seen throughout anal August on GetLusty, the ass is a very erogenous zone, inside and out. The fatty tissue allows for quite a bit of stimulation, it was made to take a so-called beating. A smart smack on the bottom can get the blood flowing, quite literally.


Stick to the ass

For beginners, focus on the ass. Like I said, it's fleshier and can take some attention. You don't want to accidentally wander over to a more sensitive area. A painful blow to the lower back could quickly stop sexy times. The lower back also holds many vital organs so always avoid it. Usually getting into a comfortable position for the smack helps the smacker not to stray from the golden area. Then, you can get into a rhythm both will enjoy.

Spanking

This is the simplest of punishments. All you need is a willing hand and an eager bottom. A few playful pats can signify sexy times, especially when administered at unexpected times. Perhaps if you're feeling a bit randy, swat your lover's bum in the kitchen or playfully whilst brushing teeth before bed. I'm sure they'll get the message. What's best is to work near the bottom of the butt, where it's most fleshy.

For more intense and intentional spanking, I suggest losing the clothes and assuming the position. That's right, bend over and bend over anything.

The bed, the couch, the kitchen counter, even your gal/guy's lap. There's a heightened expectation when you prepare yourself for punishment.

Even having your lover tell you (firmly or in jest, whatever works) to bend over. Just a few commands can create that tension even before the hand falls.

You can, of course, use much more than your hand. Paddles, wooden spoons, and even your simple hairbrush can work in a pinch.

Something firm, fairly light, and usually a similar shape to the hand can render a desirable effect. I would highly suggest varying the speed and/or the force of the spank for a heightened experience. Not knowing what blow will come next can be a great tease.

Whipping

For those who've dabbled in spanking, or are ready for something a bit harder, whipping could be your go to punishment.

Here, you'll need, of course, a whip, or something that can lash. We love PinkCherry for whips (and most everything else). Check out their extensive selection here. We recommend a Lelo Suede Whip like the one on the below. Unless you really put your arm into it, it won't give you any serious pain.

For beginners, I suggest a softer material than the leather one usually associates with whip, we're not trying to be Indiana Jones here. Cotton rope, bristles, and even some brushes from feather dusters or dangling your hair over the area can create pleasurable results.

Cat o'nine tails may look scary, but when used properly, can be a sexy tool for whipping. Just make sure beginners get a cat without stings or snares on the end of each tassel.

Next #SexToyTuesday, we'll offer whipping & flogging recommendations, so stay tuned!

Beginners Note:

Try merely dangling the whip's ends over the bare butt to tease your lover before coming back with a harder blow. Once you've grown accustomed to the feel of these softer materials, then interweave these toys with harder whips like genuine leather, rubber, or canes (see flogging below) to create a complex experience.

Flogging

This form of punishment differs from whipping in its tools (or toys in GetLusty land). While whipping obviously uses various forms of whips, flogging focuses on stiffer stimuli. Think a dominatrix's boudoir: riding crops, canes, and leather floggers. Speaking of the dominatrix, the Chicago's own Mistress Simone dishes on her recommendations for flogging.

A note to you, couples, canes are not for feint of heart. Whatever material they are made of (bamboo, plastic, nylon) they will bite. They are associated with punishment for a reason. However, the riding crop is fantastic for beginners, as long as they keep the focus of the blows on that end leather flap. Merely holding a riding crop or cane can feel sexy to the lover in charge. That power and command over your lover is very much part of the experience as well as that submissive and seemingly powerless feeling of the punished.

Communication & more communication!

You must, must, must remember, readers, that healthy sex, whether your exploring your lover's anus to whipping their buttocks, to even just going down on them, requires a great deal of communication. Don't forget to read our sexual negotiation 101 article.

A great tool is the safety word, especially for these acts that involve some degree of pain. If the partner's not feeling it, or feeling it way too much, a simple utterance (or yell) of the safety word should put a stop to that discomfort. Explore your bodies, but explore them with common sense, respect, and lots of communication.

Bonus round:

All that you just learned about spanking, whipping, and flogging? Try it on another very sensitive part of the body: the breasts. Except, beginners, keep it much lighter. Think teasing rather than torturing as the nipples and tissue of the breasts are very sensitive. But, that is what makes this sexy.

Pic #1 from NowPublic. Pic #2 from ModelMayhem.

This is a guest post by GetLusty writer, Ellen Dukes. Though Ellen Dukes is not an ethical slut (a damn respectable title, she'll have you know), her curiosity, openness, and the indefatigable search engine Google is have lead her to a 21st century sex education.

A Chicagoan, you may see Ellen enjoying the delights of her deeply loving relationship with her boyfriend. Have a naughty story? She's heard naughtier, but tell her all the same at ellen@getlusty.com. She's a wannabe sexpert with years of porn viewing, listening to sex stories, and textbook browsing just waiting to put this knowledge to wonderful use.

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