We like keeping sex funny here at GetLusty. So what's more funny than determining what your safe word is? Alright, well it can be funny. Our resident sexual comedian, Ryan Lathrop, writes on the funniness of picking your safe word.
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Word association
An often overlooked part of safe word selection is word association. Let’s say you pick the safe word avocado. Every time you go into a Mexican restaurant you're going to be half mast. No bueno. Now on the other hand, you don’t want your word to be a turnoff for your partner- the only time "moist" should be used in a sentence is when describing devil's food cake. Lastly, you never want to pick a word that rhymes with an ex-boyfriend or girlfriend because that will never end well. It will be you and your Tivo for the rest of the night.
Variety
Since variety is the spice of life, here is a list of commonly recognized safe words to help you along in the bedroom.
Word/phrase: what it means
Bukowski: I need a bottle of wine before I do that.Tolkien: Enough with the foreplay.
Joyce: You’ll enjoy this a lot more later when someone explains it to you.
Eastwood: Let’s move to the chair.
The Office: Are you going to be done with that anytime soon?
Frasier: Get the lube, things are getting too dry.
The Doctor: This gadget should move everything along.
Hulk Hogan: I am faking this right now.
Avengers: I thought having this many people around would make things awkward but I love it.
Clinton: You've been doing this for a bit and I've started to not like it. But, now I like it again.
George W: You are fucking everything up.
Obama: I need you to pause three seconds before you do everything.
Democrat: I’ll do that for you.
Republican: Ohhhhhhhh.....so that’s how that works.
Libertarian: You’re going to have to do that yourself.
Rahm Emanuel/David Mamet : Could you swear more?
KAHN! I don’t have one for this. I just think it would be funny to shout it out during intercourse.
Ease
Finally, pick a safe word that is easy to say. After choosing "supercalifragilisticexpialidocious" as my safe word one time, I couldn't sit for a week! Hopefully, you have found this article both informative and amusing. Now go forth into the world of BDSM and remember: always come prepared with a safe word.
Ryan Lathrop is a comedy nerd who moved to Chicago to dive head first into comedy. Having most of his sexual firsts with hippie ladies has caused him to be very open talking about sex, sometimes to the annoyance of his more conservative (sexually not politically) friends. His expertise is from whatever he can remember from his Human Sexuality class, the web, the Sex Nerd Sandra Podcast and his own sex life which is more of a sexish life. He's into choking in the bedroom not because he's kinky but because he has sleep apnea. Follow him on Twitter @nerdyviking.
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